The day passed slowly, as Alisha felt like she had more energy than she had for years, but still was being told to remain in bed to recover. Only trips to the bathroom were allowed, and her mate was not leaving her side.
Although that gave her a high degree of pleasure, and she was softening towards him, especially after their interactions that morning, she was not accustomed to being close to people other than her sister, having someone around her all the time, plus so many people popping in and out to visit, felt strange. A part of her needed some space, to be on her own, to think, to come to terms with everything that was happening around her.
As the evening approached, Alisha increasingly began to feel like the walls were closing in on her, that she could hardly breathe, and no matter how much Asher tried to engage with her, or chat, she just needed to either get out of the room or be on her own. She felt anxiousness begin to build inside her, as she nervously paced the floor. She couldn’t think clearly, her mind felt not her own, the mix-up of emotions when Asher touched her, the sparks consuming her mind, body, and spirit, although pleasurable, were becoming annoying to her. Especially when she had other things to focus on, like her pack, how she was going to get them to Edensor, her sister, concerned at how she was coping with everything. But having Asher around her 24/7 did not allow Alisha to think. Add that to the cabin fever she was experiencing from being in the small room all day, Alisha was not in the best frame of mind.
Asher watched as Alisha was pacing again, her brow furrowed. He could feel wave after wave of anxiousness coming off her. He needed to calm her, worried about her state of mind. He felt they had a breakthrough that morning, but increasingly as the day had gone on, she had reverted to pushing him away once more. Standing from his chair, he approached her, so that he could hold his mate in his arms, hoping that his scent would help calm her. As he went to gently take hold of her, she stepped back, anger flashing in her eyes.
“NO, stop,” She shouted.
“Enough with the bloody sparks and unnatural calm, I cannot take anymore,” Alisha cried out, in frustration.
“You just will not give me space, I need to think, I need to process, I need to GET OUT OF THIS ROOM!” Alisha shouted, her body beginning to shake.
“Alisha, my scent will help you, please…” Asher begged, desperate to try and help.
“You want to help me? Then leave me alone, give me five fucking minutes alone!” she shouted back in desperation, her body visually shaking.
Asher was at a loss. He could hear her words, but the desperate need to calm his mate was all-consuming.
“Dad, Alisha is freaking out, I don’t know what to do, she is refusing to let me calm her and shouting she wants to be alone!” Asher linked with his father, not sure how to deal with the situation that felt so unnatural to him.
“She needs space, son. I know it is difficult, but she has had a shock, after years of abuse, add to that, finding and killing her parents' murderer not 24 hours ago. Leave her, stand outside her room, and I will come and take over to keep watch over her and Iesha.” Zander gave his wise advice.
“Okay, I will leave you for a while, not because I want to, but because you need me to,” Asher sighed.
He hated the thought that she would feel like he had once again abandoned her. But the look of relief in her eyes when he said he would leave made him realise his father was right, although he could not help but feel the sting of rejection.
Asher backed up, and opened the door to the room, then took one last look at Alisha as she hunched her shoulders over, clearly in a great deal of distress, then, taking a breath, walked out, closing it behind him.
Standing outside the door, Asher slipped to the floor, sitting with his back against the wall, his elbows on his knees as his hands ran through his hair, then gently banged the back of his head against the wall in utter frustration and helplessness.
It was not supposed to be like this, mates were supposed to fall in love instantly, and they were supposed to become whole just by meeting each other. He felt useless, a failure, she had slipped through the net, his first failure, and now she was beaten, bruised, and emotionally damaged through years of trying to survive and not show weakness, and even the mate bond was not helping. Their relationship was taking one step forwards, then two steps backward, and there was nothing he could do to make it right.
Two large feet stood in front of him, just like they did when he was a child, as Asher looked up at the face that was almost identical to his own that was looking down at him.
“Dad, I just….” Asher’s voice trailed off.
Zander sat on the floor beside his son and nodded his understanding.
“It is going to take time, there is a lot of hurt inside her, Asher. She feels like we didn’t care enough about her plight, and those feelings have taken root in her heart, and only patience and understanding will dispel them,” Zander sighed.
“I know, she blames us, hell I blame us,” Asher groaned.
“As we all do, but that is not going to change anything. We had stuff that was critically important going on during that time, Asher, as well you know. One day you will tell her, but I would advise not yet, as it will sound like an excuse to her at the moment, rather than a reason,” Zander offered a reassuring smile.
“What can I do to help though, dad, because at the moment I feel like I cannot do right for doing wrong?”
“Well, what do you think she would like?, You may not be mated and marked, but you do have a bond. Concentrate on what her issues are through the bond. There will be some things you can do nothing about, but others you may be able to help make a little easier. Look, I will stay here, you head up to the packhouse, get some food, and help your mother make some decisions about how to split the pack. Maybe even run a training session for the Edensor members who have said they want to leave with their Alpha. The pack will be small, and none of them are trained that well. But they are all committed to their true Alpha. Help her, by training her pack so that she has something when it comes time to leave,” Zander smiled.
Asher nodded and stood up. His father was correct, he could not help Alisha if he wasn’t helping himself, and maybe his mate was right, they both needed a little bit of space to be themselves at the moment.
Sweat dripped down Asher’s back as he faced off on the training field with his mother. They had spent an hour training the Edensor pack, but Chloe had insisted they spar a little. The Edensor pack members sat watching open-mouthed at the ferocity of the sparing session. More than a few times, one or both the royal werewolves crashed against trees with so much force the trees cracked, or in some cases snapped. Yet both the prince and the queen jumped back to their feet and rushed forward at speed and continued their fight. The pack was in awe of the strength, tactical prowess, and stamina the mother and son had, and although they all ached more than any other training sessions, they had been part of when, under Jabez’s rule, they realised the Queen and Prince were only giving them around 10% of their full power.
Chloe stretched out her hand to Asher and shook it, then grinned at her son, as the brightness in his eyes returned. He had needed to work out some of his frustrations about the situation with his mate, and having a good sparing session with her, gave him something to focus his anger on.
“Thanks, mam, I needed that,” Asher grinned at his mother, as he placed his arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek.
“You are welcome, you know I love to beat my kids up,” Chloe jested.
“I think I match you equally now mother. You are getting old. After all, you are a grandmother now,” Asher laughed.
“Oi….I am only 41!” Chloe scowled.
“Exactly, that is OLD,” Asher laughed. She may be 41 in birth years, but his mother looked no older than 21, his age due to the werewolf aging process.
“Not as old as your dad, he is 110 this year, we should throw a party for him,” Chloe smiled.
“Mam, you throw a party for him, and all of us, every year, and use it as an excuse to allow uncle Robin's whiskey to be consumed after your many banishments of it!” Asher laughed.
“I cannot confirm or deny that,” Chloe giggled, bending over and picking up a towel to wipe herself down with.
“I am going to grab a quick shower, then head back to the hospital, thanks, mam.” Asher smiled at his mother.
“Have you thought about anything you can do to help her feel a little happier?” Chloe asked.
“Yes, I need to ring Phoenix, and ask if Liane is happy to spend the day with us tomorrow or the day after when Andrew takes out her feeding tube and drips.” Asher grinned, then headed to the shower.
Alisha sat on her bed, her head tilted back looking up to the ceiling. She was officially crazy. After wanting her space, and needing to be alone, no sooner than Asher had left her, she had missed him, his touch, his scent, and now wanted more than anything for him to walk through the door. Not that she would let him know that,.She would not show weakness even to her mate, for fear that he might use it against her. Part of her knew he would never do that, but life experience had taught her to never trust anyone other than her little sister.
“Where the bloody hell is he?” Alisha whispered to Mia.
“Doing what you asked Alisha. It has only been a couple of hours,” Mia told her human.
“Maybe he has had enough, maybe I am not worth all the effort. Maybe he has changed his mind about being with a mate so clearly messed up in the head,” Alisha sighed, panick that he might leave her begun to form in her stomach.
“Maybe try and not be such a bitch to him, Alisha,” Mia sighed, her own fear that her mate would abandon them beginning to take root in her heart.
“I can reach out to Max, and see if we can get them to return?” Mia stated.
“Don’t you bloody dare, they can never know that I missed him. No, it will make me look weak!” Alishia panicked.
“It is not weak Alisha, to miss your mate, it is normal,” Mia tried to reason with Alisha.
“NO! Do not tell them!” Alisha growled at her wolf.
The door to her room opened, but rather than scent her mate, she realised that Eve and the doctor were approaching her.
“Hey Alisha, good news, after your last exam, I am happy to take the drip and feeding tube out. I am going to do that now whilst your mate is not here, to avoid him trying to rip my head off, as you will gag a little when the tube comes up.” Andrew smiled at her.
Alisha nodded her head, then laid flat on her bed, as Eve walked over and tried to gently hold her hands so she didn’t grab at the doctor's hand when he pulled the tubes out.
Without so much as a whimper or movement, Alisha lay, as the tube was removed, and Eva took out the cannula from her hand.
“Great job Alisha, I wish all my patients were as easy to remove tubes from as you are,” Andrew praised, but secretly his heart broke that she had not even whimpered an indication to him just what she had gone through in the past, and did not dare show how much pain she had been in.
He knew psychologically this would have been damaging for Alisha, and given she was older than Iesha, it would take time to work through that with her.
“So, we are going to start you with milkshakes that have high protein powder in them, then move up to smooth soups, then introduce lumps to see how your body digests the food, taking it slowly to help stop diarrhoea happening. Although you will get wind pains, sorry nothing we can do about that,” Andrew smiled at her.
“Okay, when can I get out of here, I am getting cabin fever?” Alisha asked.
“Well, tomorrow maybe, but we need to speak with your mate about protection for you. This pack is not ideal to offer you the best security. It would be better for you in the royal pack, where nobody can get to you, but I understand you do not want to do that, so we shall see what we can do,” Andrew sighed.
“Thank you. Where is Iesha?” Alisha asked.
“She is doing some reading and writing, and I believe math as well. Cheryl is working with her to try to help catch up on her schooling. She is eating as well now, just small liquid form foods like the shakes, but you will be pleased to know she is doing really well and is commanding everyone with her tiara on her head,” Andrew chuckled.
Alisha smiled and nodded her head.
“Yeah, thank you for getting her that, it looks really good, almost real,” Alisha smiled, thinking about her sister.
“It is real. Chloe had it brought from the Vault. It was Becca’s when she was small, for state events, but it now is Iesha’s, as the sister of the future queen. Phoenix’s tiaras have been passed to her daughters, ” Andrew smiled.
Alisha let out a sigh, future queen, she needed to be an Alpha first, and the thought of being queen one day was not a happy one, nor something she wanted to think about.
“Did Rebecca not want to keep it for her own pups in the future?” Alisha asked.
“Rebecca thinks she will not have another chance to have pups, but that is her story to tell,” Andrew shrugged, not wanting to give Alisha too much information on what happened to the Princess, as she had enough to deal with right now.
A knock at the door disturbed them, as Asher poked his head around.
“Is it okay for me to come in?” he asked.
Alisha’s heart leaped with joy, relief flooding her that her mate had returned, but as always she kept her face a stoic mask.
“Yeah, I suppose it is okay,” She shrugged, as Andrew smiled and left, and Asher walked over to her, then silently sat in the chair beside her.
“No tubes?” he smiled.
Alisha shook her head.
“Good, can I come in beside you?” Asher gently asked.
Alisha let out another sigh, there was nothing she wanted more than for him to hold her, but she simply nodded. Asher climbed into the bed and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his chest, knowing that slow and steady would win this race, and also knew that what he had planned would hopefully make his mate happier tomorrow.