After a few days spent in luxury with James in the Bahamas, I was glad to be back at his home. Things had been wonderful, and yet, through it all, I had slowly let the wall I had built fall. There was something about him that gave me hope he would change his mind.
That maybe… just maybe–he would want me.
As soon as we made it back, James had to go to the office to work. The sun had set long before he left, and even though he was working late, it didn't stop me from turning on the TV in the living room and ordering myself take out.
My favorite TV show playing and an open box of pizza in front of me, I set out to relax. However, the last thing I expected was loud pounding upon the door as if the police were trying to break in. With caution, I stood and peered out the side window, seeing Chad standing there with a grim expression on his face.
My heart raced, and my palms went clammy. I wasn't sure what to do.
The last thing I wanted was for James to come home and see him here. Especially after the conversation we had before. It wouldn't end well, and James, being the man he was, would more than likely cast me out with nowhere to go.
Letting a heavy sigh escape me, I pushed towards the door with hesitation, looking for the courage to stand up to the one man who had been tormenting me emotionally over the past few months.
His cold glare met mine as the door opened, as did the smell of whiskey and his very obvious drunken haze. “What are you doing here?"
“I came to make things right with you, Becca," he sighed, taking a step forward but finding himself blocked by the door. “Let me in so we can talk."
“No," I replied firmly, not wanting to hear anything he had to say. “You need to leave right now. I have nothing to say to you, and I don't know why you're here."
“To get you back," he snapped, shoving the door open, knocking me to the floor.
“Get out!" I screamed at him, only to be met with his firm grasp in my hair and a heartless laugh that was nothing but sadistic.
“You have no right to tell me what to do!" he screamed at me. “Do you know who I am? Women line up to spend the night with me, and you're over here being ungrateful."
“I don't care who you are. Get the f*ck out, now." I seethed with anger, watching as he stumbled to the side, too drunk to even have a rational conversation.
I wished someone was in the house at a time like this. However, the housekeepers had already left for the day, and the one security guy who usually stayed in the house was currently with James at work.
“You will not ignore me, Becca!" he screamed at me as he tried to pull me towards him to kiss me. “I know you want this."
With all the strength in me, I pushed him, standing to my feet, and made a break for the living room to grab my phone. It was obvious he would not get out, and I didn't want to be one of those women who fell into a stereotype because she didn't do something.
However, rough hands gripped my waist and pulled me toward him. Kicking and screaming, I thrust my elbow back, clocking him in the side of his face, and was dropped to the floor.
“You f*cking bitch!" he raged at me as his hand came down, hitting me in the side of my face.
Scrambling against the living room floor, I spotted my purse next to the sofa and scooted towards it while he took the time to address his busted lip in the mirror.
“You will love me, Becca. I suppose I will have to show you what it is you're missing."
Fear cascaded through my body as my heart beat faster. I wasn't sure what he meant, but there was no way I was going to find out.
Scrambling faster, I reached my purse just as he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back. The only issue for him was he didn't see what I grabbed. Within my hand was the best birthday present my father had ever gotten for me, and that was my black taser with the words “Soul Sucker" engraved on the side.
As soon as he flipped me over, I brought the taser up to his side and turned it on. Screaming in pain, he let go of me and fell to the floor, and I scrambled back.
“You f*cking bitch!"
I stared at him wildly while laughing.
“That's the Soul Sucker 3000, you piece of shit. Get the f*ck out of this house!"
He didn't waste any time as he rolled to his knees, still whining from the pain the taser created and scrambled his way towards the front door.
“You're not worth it!" he yelled at me. “I have a piece of ass that is so much better than you. I don't know why I waste my time on you."
His words were meant to hurt, but I didn't care anymore. As soon as he crossed the threshold, I slammed the door, locked it, and sank to my knees.
Tears that had once been non-existent cascaded down my cheeks. I couldn't believe I had just undergone what I did. Never in my life did I think Chad would get physical with me in this way, and yet, it happened.
There was a fine line between being a dick and being physically abusive, and Chad had passed it. I was a fool to think our last conversation would have been the end of things, because he clearly didn't take the hint.
I wasn't sure how long I sat on the floor when the headlights from an approaching car seeped through the front windows. Moving to my feet, I quickly made my way upstairs towards my room. The last thing I wanted was for James to see me like this.
Yet, as the sound of his voice and the security guard's echoed from the bottom of the stairs, I had no doubt he would come seek me out.
How was I going to explain what had happened to me?
Looking into my bathroom mirror, I saw the extent of the damages Chad had caused. Bruises lined the side of my face and scattered across my arms.
It looked like I had gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson and came out still standing.
“Becca?" James' voice called out as a silent knock on my bedroom door led to him walking in.
“I'm in here, but I need some time to myself," I replied, afraid to hear what he would say when he saw me.
“What are you talking about?" he chuckled. “I thought you would be excited to see—"
His words stopped short as he pushed open the bathroom door and took sight of me. Mouth parted, and eyes wide, he stood in disbelief.
“James–" I cried out, shaking my head. “Please don't hate me…"
“Hate you?" he snapped. “What the f*ck happened?"
I didn't even know where to begin to tell him what happened. The event with Chad was completely foggy from the beginning, and trying to explain only caused a sob to escape from my throat.
Shaking my head, I couldn't find the words I needed to speak clearly. Every time I opened my mouth, tears kept pouring down my face, and eventually it was the warmth of James' hug that broke me.
His hand running through my hair as he hushed me made me feel safe, but how was he going to look at me when he found out what happened?
“Please tell me," James begged, and as he pulled away, I could see the concern and worry in his face.
He wanted to fix it, but what was done was done.
There was no fixing what had happened to me.
“I was eating pizza and watching TV. Chad… he was at the door…"
“Chad, did this?!" James yelled in anger. “That f*cking prick was at my house!"
“James please… I'm sorry. I didn't ask him to come here. He pushed through the door when I told him to get lost, and he attacked me. I fought him off, but I don't know what would have happened if I didn't have my taser…"
James understood my hesitant admission. I didn't come out directly and say he tried to sexually assault me, but the vague response were preludes to what Chad was planning to do.
“I'm going to f*cking kill him," James replied, storming from the bathroom.
I didn't want James to get in trouble for what happened, and racing after him, I caught his arm at the top of the stairs.
“Please… just don't. Don't involve yourself with this. He's gone…"
“Are you really going to sit there and expect me to let this go?!" he yelled at me, jerking his arm from my grasp. “He was in my f*cking home, Becca!"
The more he yelled, the more I cried. After a moment of staring at me, though, a heavy sigh left him, and he moved towards me again, pulling me into his arms.
“Please, just don't leave me tonight. Please?" I begged, not wanting to be alone.
The situation was more than frustrating, but through it all, having him with me was what made me feel safe. It made me realize there were people out there that cared about me. Even if I was just the girl he was f*cking.
“Let's get you cleaned up and into bed," he replied as he gestured for me to follow him to his room.
Sitting on his bed, I watched him walk towards the bathroom and turn on the shower. My mind was in disarray as I tried to come to terms with what had happened to me.
I was angry, yes, but not so much over what happened.
Instead, I was angry I allowed the situation to happen with him at all. I should never have opened the door. I should have kept it closed or reported him the last time I saw him. Instead, I didn't.
I tried to justify him as a pretty boy with mommy issues that needed to be put in his place… but I was wrong.
The bad thing was, I knew before there were stories about his father being like this. I had heard how his father had multiple accusations of abuse to women in the past, and yet never once did I consider Chad would be that way.
Until today.... Today he proved me wrong.