Lucas followed from a discreet distance as if in a trance. He simply couldn’t believe it. For four years he looked for her and now she was in front of him but she wasn’t alone.
There had been times he wondered what it would be like to find her and she had found someone else. After four years she might have a boyfriend or even a fiancée, maybe even a husband. The thought made him run cold but he really didn’t have license to complain. He was the one who drove her away.
Yet in all his wildest fantasies he hadn’t dreamed of this. A child? When? How?
Well…
He knew how. One night…
He recalled Alan’s assurances that the chances of a pregnancy after one night were nearly impossible.
But the truth was in front of him. Sarah’s miniature couldn’t be more than three years old which meant she had to have been conceived on their one and only night together. But why wouldn’t Sarah tell him? There was no mention of a child in the divorce papers and no request for child support. Did she not know she was pregnant at the time? Was he wrong? Was she not his?
Lucas found himself shaking at the thought Sarah slept with another man after leaving him. A one-night stand? Sarah didn’t strike him as the type. Maybe she was just that mad at him?
But he didn’t want it to be true. He wanted the little girl to be his. She had to be his. Did she know about him? What had Sarah told her about her daddy? Did she say anything to her?
The unanswered questions were driving him crazy. Only one thing kept him from falling apart and that was watching his wife and daughter. His daughter was all giggles as she walked down the street and eventually reached the park. Surprisingly a carriage was waiting and she was excited about taking a ride. She showed no fear of the rather large horse.
Lucas had to trot to keep up not wanting to lose sight of them for even a moment. He refused to listen as Alan tried to tell him the carriage would bring them right back to the start. When the carriage finally returned Lucas was out of breath and rather irritated with Alan who had sat down on a bench to wait.
But there wasn’t time to argue with him as Sarah headed back into the park for a leisurely stroll. Their daughter was all giggles as she walked along wooden paths with her mother and canine. They paused at the Carousel and the meadow but continued on. Sarah seemed to have a particular destination in mind and the girl had energy to last hours though Lucas was hard pressed to keep up. He couldn’t remember the last time he walked this much.
They finally paused at a statue that for some reason had his daughter dancing with delight. Taking a selfie in front of it the pair headed back to the hotel. At first Lucas thought they were going back to the Book Fair but Sarah handed her keys to the valet before heading inside. He trailed her as far as the elevator before he realized the truth. They were staying in the hotel!
Alan who had remained silent at his side headed to the front desk. He chatted amicably with the concierge who typed away at their computer before shaking their head. After a few minutes Alan returned to where Lucas stood watching the elevator.
“There is no Stanton or Tomlinson on their reservation list,” Alan said. “Maybe she changed her name or used an assumed name…or she’s here with someone.”
Lucas jerked to attention and glared at him.
“I’m just saying it’s possible. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought the same thing.”
Lucas sighed. Yes, he did have the same thoughts as he watched Sarah and the girl. God, what was her name? He couldn’t keep calling his daughter the girl. It was driving him crazy not knowing.
The elevators opened and Sarah stepped off with the little one this time without the puppy. Where were they going now? Lucas waited until they were a little ways ahead before falling into step behind them.
Outside a dark red, mid-sized SUV waited. Accepting her keys from the valet Sarah walked up to it without hesitation helping the girl into the child’s seat in the back. Lucas belatedly realized the vehicle was hers and that they were going on another outing.
“Let’s go to the zoo!” the little girl exclaimed making Sarah laugh as she buckled her in.
The zoo?
Sarah circled to the driver’s seat and climbed in. In minutes they were driving away.
“Shit.” Lucas hurried to the curb as Alan requested their car from the valet but it would come too late. Instead Lucas hailed a cab saying, “Catch up.”
Alan blinked in surprise at his impatience and watched as the cab merged back into traffic trailing after the SUV. Smiling Alan could only shake his head. Unbelievable. After four years of ignoring his wife Lucas was suddenly wrapped around her fingers and pulled along like a puppet on a string. It was getting very interesting.
Lucas was on the edge of his seat as the cab crawled through traffic. When he first got in and told the driver the Zoo the driver had responded which one? He immediately panicked. It had been so long since he went to the zoo he forgot New York boasted five. Instead he pointed to the SUV demanding he follow it.
The driver merely shrugged and drove off. They managed to keep the SUV in sight as they navigated New York City traffic. It seemed Sarah did not intend to return to Central Park heading to the Bronx. According to the cab driver the Zoo there was second to none. Too many thoughts were running through Lucas’s head to pay attention to him. When the cab pulled up at the Zoo entrance he threw a couple hundred dollar bills at him before exiting. He had to turn around immediately to avoid Sarah spotting him as she and the girl approached after parking their vehicle.
Lucas hesitated but it seemed Sarah hadn’t noticed as she escorted the excited little girl to the admission gate. Paying they went on their way and Lucas trailed them tossing money at the clerk without counting or waiting for his change. Sarah and the girl paused at the sea lions with the girl clapping excitedly at the animals’ antics.
From there the pair seemed to wander at random using conveniently placed signs to direct them to particular animals. No matter what exhibit the girl took equal delight in the animals present. She even seemed fascinated by frogs and bugs which Lucas thought all girls thought creepy and gross. The only animals she didn’t seem all that interested in were apes. She liked the monkeys just fine but their tailless cousins didn’t elicit the same excited giggles. Lucas wondered why.
Nearing lunch time they paused at a food stand for hotdogs and Icees which seemed a big hit with the girl who proudly showed off her blue tongue. Lucas’s lips twitched with a smile at her adorable antics. And Sarah’s laughter rang in his mind like chiming bells. How did he live so many years without either?
His phone buzzed alerting him Alan was on site. He had sent the other a text from the cab when Sarah’s destination was eminent and apparently Alan finally managed to catch up. Tearing his eyes away from the scene in front of him Lucas gave directions based on the nearby animal exhibits and waited as Sarah and the girl leisurely finished their lunch. Alan managed to reach him as they were leaving and continued their exploration.
“Damn, you are hard to find,” Alan sighed while they trailed the pair.
“What took you so long?” Lucas asked.
“I was getting information for you. Thomas.”
“What?”
“Her last name,” Alan said. “I found her vehicle in the parking lot and had a friend run her license plates. Vermont plates, by the way.”
“Vermont?” Lucas couldn’t believe it. He spent four years looking for her and she was less than a five-hour drive away? How was that possible? “Thomas?”
“Yeah. Sarah Thomas. She must have changed it legally.”
Why Thomas? He supposed it was close to her maiden name but most people were attached to their given names as it connected them to their family. Lucas’s brow furrowed.
Could it be she was not on good terms with her brother? But Lucas thought they were twins. Weren’t twins close? Julius’s twins were so in tune with one another they seemed capable of communicating without speech. Silas’s triplets could carry on whole conversations with only a glance or two. Was that not true of all multiples?
Once again Lucas was reminded of how little he actually knew about his wife. He saw her now so full of life and energy. With such an active daughter Sarah needed every bit of it. Lucas felt his own stamina flagging when they made it to the camel rides. Gratefully he sighed when it became clear they were going to wait their turn for a ride.
“What’s her name?” the girl asked when their turn came.
“This is Ruby,” the keeper informed.
“Hi Ruby!” she giggled. “You’re very pretty.”
Incredibly the camel responded by swinging its head around for her to pet. Even the keeper seemed surprised by the animal’s receptiveness but happily conveyed all sorts of camel facts as Sarah and the girl climbed aboard and sat quietly while the keeper led the camel along the walking track.
The girl was enraptured with the animal leaning forward to stroke its coarse fur. Lucas couldn’t help himself snapping pictures of them as they passed his location. When they reached the platform again the keeper took Sarah’s phone and snapped pictures as well before they dismounted and departed.
Eventually they made it to the children’s petting zoo. They paused briefly at the bug carousel and the girl rode it long enough for a picture but it didn’t seem to have the same effect on her as the camel ride. However her face lit up again in the Butterfly Garden and of course the petting zoo where she immediately bonded with the goats. An alpaca seemed to take particular interest in Sarah who laughed as she petted the friendly creature.
“Excuse me, mister.”
Lucas suddenly stiffened and slowly turned to see the girl was standing beside him. How did she move so fast?
“Mister, why are you following us?”
Shit.
Lucas’s mind raced. How did she notice him? When? Why confront him now? What was he supposed to say?
“Do you want to talk to my mommy?”
“I…Yes. I do.” Lucas crouched down to her level for the first time able to study her closely. She looked so much like Sarah. But there were slight differences and a few characteristics he recognized every time he looked into a mirror. It was strange to see his features on such a feminine, round face but also fascinating. There was no longer any doubt in his mind. She had to be his daughter.
“Do you know my mommy?” she looked at him her hazel eyes shining with mirth waiting for an answer he didn’t know how to give. “Should I yell for her?”
“No!” Lucas panicked.
She giggled.
God, did she have to be so cute?
“If you don’t answer I’m going to scream.”
Cute but vicious.
“Y-yes. I know your mommy,” Lucas finally said twisting his wedding band. “I…used to be married to her.”
She tilted her head suddenly serious as she studied him for a long moment before asking, “Are you my daddy?”
Lucas sucked in a breath. How was he supposed to answer that when he still didn’t know what Sarah had told her about him? But there was no doubt in his mind.
“I…I think so. Has—has she talked about me?”
“No.”
His heart sank and Lucas bowed his head fighting his disappointment. But what else did he expect? Maybe she never thought about him at all.
“My name is Zoe. What’s yours?”
Zoe. It was the perfect name for her. He hesitated before answering, “Luke.”
“Are you going to hurt my mommy?”
He winced at the seriousness of her question. Lucas looked at his daughter. Her eyes seemed a little browner as if reflecting her determined attitude. Gone was her childish mirth. She was very serious.
“No. No, of course not. I…” Lucas looked down at his wedding ring. “I hurt her before and I want to apologize. I want…I want a chance to be with her again.”
Zoe pressed her lips together deep in thought. He hesitated to guess what was going on in her mind. After another long moment she said, “Okay. But you have to promise not to hurt my mommy or make her cry.”
“Right.”
“Pinky promise,” Zoe help up her hand extending the pinky.
He hesitated before wrapping his much large digit around hers.
“This is serious, daddy. You never break a pinky promise.”
Lucas blinked his heart practically jumping out of his chest when she called him daddy but it was tempered by the seriousness of her expression. This was no laughing matter. Lucas nodded showing he understood.
“I promise. I won’t hurt her and I won’t make her cry.”
Zoe narrowed her gaze as if scrutinizing his sincerity before nodding in satisfaction. Suddenly she raised her hands. He hesitated before embracing her for the first time. He was actually hugging his little girl.
“Zoe? Zoe, where did you go?”
“Over here mommy!” Zoe answered and Lucas almost dropped her as he straightened to face a panicked Sarah.
For the first time in four years he faced his wife with no clue what he should say. Her expression was not difficult to read: surprise, fear, uncertainty, panic. It was her fear that cut him deepest. He didn’t expect their first meeting to be smooth but he didn’t want her to be afraid. Anger would be easier to withstand.
“…Sarah.”
Her gaze flickered from him to Zoe who was calm in his arms despite the situation she caused. Zoe just smiled and declared, “Mommy, I found Edward.”
Sarah suddenly blushed but Lucas was confused. Edward? She already knew his name so why get it wrong on purpose and who was Edward? And why did Sarah react like that? Lucas glanced at Alan but he was equally confused.
“Sarah…I think we need to talk,” Lucas said watching her reaction carefully as her gaze wavered between fear and anger.
She kept looking at Zoe as if her daughter had all the answers. Finally she nodded. Lucas allowed himself a brief moment of relief. At least she didn’t deny him outright.