“Mommy?”
They both jerked to attention as the silence between them was broken. Sarah quickly wiped her eyes before looking up the stairs at Zoe who stood freshly washed and in her pajamas.
“What is it, baby? You should be in bed.”
“I wanted a bedtime story.”
“Okay.”
Sarah turned away from Lucas and climbed up the steps. She scooped up Zoe and continued without a backward glance. Like a puppet drawn by a string he slowly crept up the stairs passing Ulima who watched him with a pensive look. He wondered how much of their conversation she heard but didn’t dare ask. Head bowed he crept toward Zoe’s bedroom door. Lucas leaned against the wall listening to the voices drifting out of the room.
“Mommy, are you made at daddy? Did he make you cry?”
“…No. It’s…remember what I told you about tears?”
“That tears aren’t bad but it’s bad to hold them in.”
“Right.”
Zoe looked at her mother with concern.
“Hey, I haven’t told you how I met your daddy. Do you want me to tell you the story?”
“Yeah!”
Sarah managed a strained smile, “Well, we met when we were still in school. I think I was twelve? So about Aria’s age.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. When I was little I used to always carry notebooks with me so I could write my stories,” Sarah felt herself relax as she continued the story. “Not everyone liked that. They thought I was weird and sometimes called me names.”
“That’s not very nice.”
“No. It’s not. One day they were making fun of me and one pushed me. I fell down and dropped some of my books and things. They started kicking dirt on everything. And then, suddenly, there was your daddy,” Sarah softly smiled at the memory. Even now she felt a pleasant warmth in her chest. “He stood between me and them and told them to stop. He was quite brave to stand up to so many.”
“Daddy saved you? Like a knight protecting a princess!”
“Yeah. Just like that,” Sarah smiled the nostalgia slowly waning.
“Is that when you fell in love with daddy?” Zoe asked.
Sarah bit her lip suddenly standing, “All right. Time for bed.”
She tucked Zoe in and kissed her forehead. Zoe giggled at her mother’s attempt to change the subject. Sarah chuckled heading for the door.
“Good night, mommy,” Zoe said.
“Good night, baby.”
Stepping out of the room Sarah hesitated but the hallway was deserted. She bit her lip certain Lucas had followed them up…or maybe she was just hoping he did. Sarah shook her head. Would she never learn her lesson? He never cared about her and never would. She quietly stepped into her room unaware of the eyes watching her.
Lucas’s mind was reeling with a roller coaster of emotions, shame and shock from the story she told of their one and only night together. How could he have allowed it to happen?
He hurt her, hurt her deeply. She hurt so much she allowed no other to come close to her again. She was actually afraid: afraid of being close to someone both mentally and physically. He didn’t even know it was possible to hurt someone that much.
The guilt was crushing. But then…
When Zoe asked if he caused her tears he fully expected Sarah to throw him under the bus. She would have been well within her rights to do so. He had caused her so much pain she no doubt hungered for his comeuppance…but instead she told Zoe a story. And that story…
Could it be true?
He didn’t remember any such incident and yet…there was no denying the conviction in Sarah’s voice or her smile as she recalled the memory. If it were true then…she loved him since they were teens. Downstairs he had wished for a ten-foot-hole to bury himself in when Sarah told him about their night together. Now he realized it wasn’t nearly deep enough.
When the story was over and Sarah headed for the door Lucas hurriedly ducked into his own bedroom to avoid facing her. He was such a coward. But what right did he have?
The house fell silent as everyone turned in leaving him to wallow in his misery alone. Lucas headed to his closet changing into sweats before collapsing on the bed in utter exhaustion. How could he hope to fix any of this?
* * *
Lucas sighed as he walked the near-deserted halls. It was annoying that the teacher had held him back to talk to him but he really didn’t have any desire to join the debate team. Since he was ten his grandmother had been preparing him to take over as CEO and that required a lot of extra classes and study as it was. He didn’t have time for anything else.
The teacher claimed it would be a good way to make friends but what did he need friends for? There was simply too much to do and not enough time to get it done.
Rounding a corner Lucas stopped suddenly to avoid running into a classmate as he went around the other hallway. Without looking up, the tall boy walked on muttering something about the nurse taping his glasses. Lucas watched him a moment wondering if he should demand an apology but eventually decided against it.
Instead he headed outside to meet Lidia and go home. Exiting the school he paused as his gaze fell on a group of kids taunting an unfortunate classmate that somehow earned their ire. Scowling he headed down the steps ready to skirt around the group and continue on until he spotted Lidia in the middle of the bullies throwing her own insults at their victim.
Since when did she participate in these sorts of things?
His gaze went to the unfortunate soul caught in their net to see a cute blonde. She was tall for her age and somewhat lanky due to her late development. As he watched Madeline suddenly stepped forward shoving the girl and making her lose her balance. She stumbled and fell forward dropping her books as she ended up on her knees. The group laughed kicking dirt.
Though Lucas seldom interfered with his classmates’ immature pastimes he suddenly veered from his path and pushed his way into the middle of the group.
“What do you think you are doing?!”
The laughter immediately stopped as he stared them down.
“Is this how you were raised? I suppose your parents are so proud!” his gaze flickered to Lidia. “Is this the graceful and dignified lady grandma raised you to be?”
Lidia winced. Their grandmother had many rules if they expected to be Stanton heirs. She expected them to be dignified and venerable at all times. Any steps out of line would earn immediate retribution not just for them but also for their mother who was supposed to raise them according to their grandmother’s expectations.
Lucas’s gaze shifted to Madeline. She cowered under his glare. She was only able to attend this school because Lidia begged their mother to pay her tuition. If she crossed the line she could easily be forced out.
“Get out of here!” he ordered the group. “Scram!”
The group scurried away in different directions.
“Luke…”
“Get in the car!” Lucas ordered his sister. “Now. And you better hope I don’t mention this to grandma.”
Visibly paling Lidia grabbed Madeline’s arm and dragged her away. If he threatened to tell their mother she wouldn’t have cared but their grandmother was another story. Once the others left Lucas sucked in a calming breath then turned to the blonde girl.
She was quietly gathering her books. Kneeling he picked up one of her notebooks and offered it to her. Glancing at the cover he said, “Rosemary? That’s a pretty name.”
Hesitantly she accepted her notebook looking at him for the first time. Her eyes were the most bewitching green-brown with a hint of blue around her irises.
“Thank you,” she nodded looking away as she stood.
“My name is Lucas,” he said awkwardly introducing himself.
She nodded backing a step as her face became red. Lucas hesitated not sure how to continue the conversation. What came after names?
“Hey! Luke!”
He looked toward the voice waving at the approaching figure. Turning back to the blonde he was startled to see she had gone. Confused he looked around but she was nowhere to be seen. Where did she go?
“Hey Luke, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” Lucas answered as Alan reached him.
“Lose something?” Alan asked.
“There was a girl here.”
“You are sure you didn’t imagine her?”
Lucas gave him an irritated look.
“Okay, fine. What’s her name?”
“Rosemary.”
“Pretty but I don’t think we have a Rosemary in our class.”
“Maybe she’s in Lidia’s class.”
“Maybe. If you want I can look into the school records.”
“Can you do that?”
“Sure. Just don’t ask me how.”
* * *
Lucas laid awake the memory percolating from the recent dream. It couldn’t be, could it?
Alan searched through the school records and found no student named Rosemary. Lucas kept an eye out for her for several days but didn’t see her again. Gradually he let himself forget.
But it was Sarah the entire time?
He pictured the girl again as clearly as he could and compared her to Sarah. They looked a lot alike. She was Sarah, she had to be. It was Sarah the entire time. He recalled the boy in the hallway. That must have been Samuel going to the nurse’s office after abandoning her. How did he never put it together? Even after hearing the story from Samuel he hadn’t connected it. Not until last night listening to Sarah talk to Zoe did his mind finally unearth the memory.
Lucas rolled out of bed stumbling to the bathroom. How could he have been so stupid? How did he miss it? How did he not recognize her?
He could picture her clearly on their wedding day. When the priest told him to kiss the bride she looked at him so shyly a pink tinge to her cheeks and her eyes…hopeful.
It was why she had agreed to the marriage in the first place. She probably hoped he would remember even until the last moment. And he trampled on that hope. She stayed two years desperately clinging to that simple hope and he destroyed it.
God he was such an idiot!
Splashing water on his face he dressed and headed downstairs. The smells of breakfast were already filling the house as he reached the first floor. Zoe sat at the table munching churros while she practiced her letters and numbers. Ulima chuckled at her antics but fell silent as Lucas sank into a seat at the table.
“Daddy?” Zoe looked at him. Her gaze practically brined with questions.
“Morning, munchkin,” Lucas patted her head memorizing every inch of her face.
“Did you have a good night’s sleep?”
“No, baby. I didn’t.”
“Is it because you and mommy argued?”
“We weren’t arguing,” Lucas shook his head.
“Then why is mommy mad at you?”
“Before you were born…I did a very bad thing,” Lucas hesitated, “and I hurt her.”
“Then you should apologize,” Zoe said. “Mommy says if you know you did something wrong you need to say you’re sorry.”
“I think this might take a little more than an apology.”
Zoe frowned.
“But I’m going to fix it,” Lucas said meeting her gaze. “I promise. I’m going to make this right.”
Zoe’s gaze narrowed.
“I promise, Zoe. I’m going to make it up to your mother. I just…need a little time.”
“How much?” Zoe asked.
“A couple of days…I just need a couple of days.”
“Are you coming to Auntie Macey’s party?”
Lucas frowned before realizing she meant the DaLair Mixer at the end of the week. If he got Alan to work on it immediately it could work. It would have to work.
“Yeah,” Lucas finally said. “I’ll be there and I’ll have a special surprise for your mother. Hopefully, she’ll forgive me after I give it to her.”
“She’ll forgive you. Mommy loves you.”
“You think so?” Lucas looked at her hopeful for the first time.
“Ah-huh. You just have to be brave daddy.”
“Okay. I’ll be brave,” Lucas stood kissing her forehead. “You take care of your mom for me. I’ll be gone a couple of days but I’ll come back once I have everything ready.”
“Promise?”
“Promise. I’ll make it right.”
Zoe gave him a small smile and nodded. Patting her head he moved to the door pausing to grab the picture from the bookstore bag. If he felt himself giving up he would use it for motivation. This was for his family. He couldn’t lose sight of that.
Stepping outside he found Alan already waiting. Climbing into the passenger seat Lucas breathed deep as Alan pulled away.
“So…everything good?” Alan asked.
“No. It couldn’t be worse.”
Alan blinked surprise.
“Take me to the DaLair Plaza.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I need some advice.”
“All right.”
Alan kept glancing at him as they drove on. It had been years since Lucas last spoke to Julius. Even when they were on speaking terms Lucas never sought the other out. Though Lucas never admitted it Alan suspected Julius DaLair intimidated him. If he was going to see Julius now it had to be for a good reason.