Lucas sat for several minutes breathing deep. He glanced out the window at the office building towering over him. It really wasn’t any more impressive than the Stanton building but it represented something he couldn’t quite name.
Alan watched him with concern as Lucas held the picture of Sarah and Zoe. Finally he nodded as if answering a silent query. He wasn’t going to lose them. This was for them.
Setting down the photo he finally opened the door and climbed out. Looking back at Alan he said, “I’ll be right back.”
Fighting his nerves Lucas marched inside heading to the front desk. He had to do this.
“Can I help you?” the receptionist asked.
“I’m here to see Julius.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
“No.”
She looked up startled by the unexpected answer. No one could see any of the DaLairs without an appointment.
“Please just call him and tell him Luke wants to see him,” Lucas said. “If he says no I’ll leave. Please just ask.”
The receptionist pressed her lips together before nodding. Lucas let out an uneasy breath as she picked up her phone. He tried to relax letting his gaze wander across the room. The lobby was surprisingly comfortable. Its décor almost seemed like a lodge with over-sized, comfortable chairs, a fireplace with wood and stone veneer.
A large photograph hung over the fireplace mantel featuring a line of kids oldest to youngest jumping into a pool hand-in-hand. Though it was in black and white and their backs were turned to the camera there was no denying the kids featured were the DaLair grandchildren: from Jude to Lyra. Augustus loved his family too much to allow any other on the wall and just as one knew the subject matter it would certainly be no surprise to learn it was taken by M. Gray.
“Excuse me sir.”
Lucas turned back to the receptionist.
“Mister DaLair will see you. Head to the last elevator and take it to the executive floor.”
“Thank you.”
Lucas nodded wanting to smile but couldn’t. It was only a small step forward. Following her instructions he took the elevator up and emerged in a new lobby. Here too were large, comfortable chairs and a receptionist desk. He walked up to the counter expecting a repeat of the first floor but the new receptionist seemed prepared for him.
“Mister DaLair’s office is through there all the way down the hall.”
Lucas nodded following the directions past several offices and meeting rooms. Eventually he arrived at a dark walnut door with a silver name plate: Julius DaLair, VP. He hesitated before knocking.
Moments ticked by before the door finally opened revealing Julius DaLair. Julius was not a particularly tall man, only average height, making him several inches shorter than either Silas or Lucas both of whom were just over six feet, but he stood with the authority of experience.
Leaning on the door Julius studied Lucas a long moment before saying, “Come in Stanton. We were just talking about you.”
“We?” Lucas let himself be ushered into the sleek office.
There were several photographs on the walls featuring the kids in various poses and compositions. It was clear the only thing greater than Augustus’s love for his grandchildren was Julius’s love for his children.
The office had four large chairs arranged around a coffee table. March sat in one sipping a coffee. It was clear the brothers had been catching up when Lucas paid his call. Anxiously Lucas nodded to the elder DaLair brother.
“Don’t look so nervous,” Julius said grasping his shoulder. “Let’s sit.”
Lucas sunk into the chair Julius directed him too and took in an uneasy breath.
“So…to what do we owe this visit?” Julius asked returning to the chair across from his brother. “And don’t say it’s because you missed me.”
Lucas fought a smile at Julius’s nonchalant attitude. Though it was several years ago, Lucas remembered how Julius was before the kids. A strong drinker he used to cause a bit of havoc at various functions much to his family’s embarrassment. Macey and the children changed that. Since reconnecting with Macey and the twins Julius never had more than one or two drinks preferring to keep a clear head.
Taking a deep breath Lucas finally said, “I messed up. I messed up real bad and I don’t know how to fix it.”
He half-expected Julius to laugh but the DaLair brothers merely nodded. It seemed they were already aware of his mistake. Considering how long Sarah had known Macey it shouldn’t be a surprise that Julius would know about Zoe despite spending most of the year in Paris.
“…I—ah…” Lucas hesitated, “I thought Sarah wasn’t taking the marriage seriously…that it was just for show. I didn’t…I didn’t know she had genuine feelings for me…ever since we were kids. I didn’t know what her family was like…what her father did…”
Julius quietly listened, thinking about his own marriage. He too thought his marriage was merely a façade. Macey was convenient. He had known her since childhood and grew up with her. But that blinded him to her true feelings.
Sometimes he wondered what it would have been like if she had gone back to school after her mother passed away. Perhaps that time apart would have given him enough distance to realize the truth his father and brother already knew. Then again, maybe not. Though he often wished the past would be different he would never trade the life he had now with his family.
“…I never even tried to get to know her,” Lucas shook his head. “Maybe if I just sat down with her I might have…I never even imagined she was…”
“Well, you wouldn’t be the first man to misjudge his wife,” Julius said. “I must say though, you certainly went up in flames.”
Lucas bowed his head. That wasn’t even the worst of it. Knowing Sarah often hid her pain he knew the truth he was about to reveal had never spoken aloud, “It’s worse than you know.”
Julius raised a brow.
“The night we spent together…I was drunk…I—ah—came on too strong…”
Julius’s gaze narrowed his gray eyes boring into the man in front of him. Whatever Lucas’s faults he was at least forthright but now he was hesitant to speak.
“Are you trying to say you forced yourself on Sarah?” Julius glared.
“…It was consensual…I think,” Lucas shuddered. “I didn’t take care of her at all or try to…”
March pinched the bridge of his nose. If there was one talk Augustus never hesitated to have with his sons it was one about the responsibility a man had to ensure his partner’s comfort especially the first time they were together. It had been the most awkward and uncomfortable talk either March or Julius endured but both were grateful for their father’s words so much so that March let Augustus lead the same talk with Jude much to his son’s horror. Julius hadn’t decided if he would allow Augustus to have that conversation with Caden when the time came or not.
“Lucas…”
“I know. There is nothing you can say, no name you can call me, that I haven’t already called myself,” Lucas shook his head. “I don’t…I don’t deserve forgiveness.”
“Well that isn’t really our call,” Julius sighed. “That’s up to Sarah.”
“How can I even ask her for that?”
“You don’t.”
Lucas glanced up at Julius.
“You beg for it. Apologize and swear that you will do better….you hope her love is strong enough to grant it but…you don’t ask for it.”
“What if it’s not?”
“Then that’s the price you pay. You lose.”
Lucas bowed his head shaking. It was the answer he expected but it didn’t hurt less.
“The question is why are you here? Shouldn’t you be on your hands and knees begging her?”
“There’s something else…”
Julius and March waited in silence.
“Apparently Madeline sent Sarah text messages implying I was having an affair.”
“Implying?” March repeated.
“I never touched her.”
“Never?” Julius asked.
Lucas took in a ragged breath, “Once, back in college. When I graduated Madeline said she wanted to give me a special gift. She, ah, gave me a blow job…but that’s it. I swear. It was just that one time. And I never touched anyone when we were married.”
Julius nodded. Over the years Macey and Ava had many discussions about Lucas’s alleged infidelity. He wasn’t sure how they arrived at their consensus but both were convinced it was rumor and heresy. Since Sarah left him Lucas’s behavior had changed quite drastically so Julius was willing to give him the benefit of doubt.
“There’s more,” Lucas said. “Text messages from my sister and mother. I didn’t even know they had her number.”
“You think they were plotting together?” March asked. “I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time. You remember the trouble Si had after he found Ava and the kids.”
“Right…with that Jennifer or whatever her name was,” Julius nodded.
“And the trouble you had with Katherine.”
Julius grimaced. The less said about that the better.
“And…”
“There’s more?” Julius looked at Lucas.
“The night I was with Sarah…I don’t remember any of it. My mind is completely blank.”
“Blank?”
“I remember taking Lidia and Madeline to the Mixer. I had a few drinks and talked to some people then…nothing. Nothing until I woke up the next morning.” Lucas shook his head. “I’ve been blackout drunk before but nothing like that.”
“What do you think?” Julius looked at his brother.
“He could have been dosed.”
“Dosed?” Lucas repeated. “You mean with a drug?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” March shrugged looking at Julius who frowned. Though they still had no evidence they were quite certain he had been drugged the night Katherine came on too strong and March had to pull his brother away before it escalated.
“It could explain why your memory is wiped clean,” Julius agreed.
“It’s no excuse,” Lucas shook his head. “But it would explain a few things, like you said.”
“So…what are you going to do?” Julius asked.
“…I got to go,” Lucas lurched to his feet. “I got to see those text messages. And I got to see if Alan can get video of that night. It was four years ago though.”
“A venue like that has security cameras and I bet they are saved digitally,” March said.
“If anyone can get a hold of it, it’s Alan,” Julius agreed.
“Right. I’ll…I’ll see you at the DaLair Mixer,” Lucas nodded to them. “I got to go.”
They watched him leave with a note of concern.
“Well that was interesting,” March said. “You think he’ll be all right?”
“Let’s just hope he’s prepared to see some ugly sides to his family.”
“I never did like his sister,” March agreed. “Or his mother. You remember what dad used to say about Alice though, right?”
“About how you had to be careful around her because she knew more about you than you knew about yourself?”
“Yeah. How much do you think she knows?”
“She arranged for him to marry someone with genuine feelings for him since they were children. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”
“Me neither. I wonder why she didn’t step in before it got so out of control.” March nodded.
“Maybe she couldn’t.”
“You mean she had an agreement with Sarah?” March asked. Everyone knew Sarah had a private discussion with the Stanton matriarch before the wedding.
Though Alice was notoriously difficult to deal with she always adhered to the terms of an agreement. She never backed out and always upheld her end of the deal. A trait that Lucas did his best to emulate.
“That would be my guess.”
* * *
Lucas stepped out of the office building breathing deep and trying to keep himself calm. Alan pulled up to the curb and he climbed in. While Alan turned in the direction of the Stanton building Lucas dialed a number from his contact list.
“Lucas?”
“Robert, I need you to get in touch with Tailor.”
“Tailor? As in Tailor Reeve, your ex-wife’s attorney?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Sarah said he had her old phone. There are text messages from my mother, sister and Madeline on it. I want copies. I want to see what they were sending.”
“All right…Lucas the divorce was finalized four years ago. Don’t you think it’s a little late?”
“It’s a lot late but that doesn’t mean it’s too late. Just get me the messages.”
“All right.”
“Good, you have until noon.”
“Noon? Seriously? Cooperation between lawyers takes finesse and time and negotiation.”
“I don’t care. Just get it.” Lucas hung up the phone with a sigh. “Alan, I need you to get some camera footage.”
“Camera footage?”
“The Fortune500 Mixer, four years ago.”
“Why?”
“It might have been more than just alcohol I ingested.”
“You mean drugs…That could explain why you have no memory.”
“Right. I just need to know for sure.”
“All right. I’ll make some calls as soon as we get to the office.”
Lucas nodded trying to shed his anxiety. This was only the beginning and even if he found the answers it still might not be enough to earn Sarah’s forgiveness. He wouldn’t blame her. He certainly didn’t deserve it but he hoped she might eventually grant it and perhaps even allow him to stay in hers and Zoe’s lives.
It just had to be enough. He couldn’t lose them again.