Lily’s POV
I squeeze Caleb’s hand to help me feel calm and wonder if he can hear my heart thumping hard against my chest.
Ralph looks okay…
He’s slightly paler than normal and he winced when Caleb barely touched him, but other than that, he seems his cheery, usual self.
He hasn’t looked at me yet either. He talked with Ava, but he hasn’t even glanced my way.
I blink back the tears that have been threatening to fall.
I wish I could be alone with him. All I want is for him to tell me himself that he is okay.
If anything happened to Ralph…
I blink rapidly as the tears threaten to spill over.
I stand in silence as Caleb talks to Ralph, the nurses, Ralph’s parents.
Never me.
He never checks on me.
His mate touch might bring me a calming effect, but Caleb himself does nothing to soothe my worry.
I need to leave before I start crying.
I got what I had needed, proof that Ralph was okay.
I pull on Caleb’s hand and he looks down at me.
“I’m very tired, can you take me home?” I try to be as quiet as I can.
He looks around the room before he gets that slightly faraway look he gets when he mindlinks.
He nods and releases my hand.
“Richie will walk you back, he’ll meet you at the hospital entrance.”
He turns away to say something to Ralph’s dad.
I feel the familiar wave of hurt at the dismissiveness from my mate.
My eyes look over to Ralphs and we lock eyes.
He understands.
He gives me a brief but understanding look and looks over to Caleb to answer a question.
I turn and make my way slowly to the front of the hospital, the tears now falling freely.
No doubt, if Ralph was gone, I would be completely alone.
My mate doesn’t care about me, my sister has always been distant, and everyone in the pack treats me like I’m some sort of joke.
Ralph is the only one who sees me for me, and he likes me for me.
I’m not like most of the people in the pack, or well, anyone in the pack.
Ava was always the one that everyone loved. She’s got a natural beauty, a good fighter, easy going…and I’m just the ditsy sister who only cares about clothes and looking good.
I know that is what people say about me.
I might not be a great fighter, but I have excellent hearing, and I heard what Ava and Caleb used to call me.
Barbie.
When Caleb walked through that door on our eighteenth birthday and ran up the stairs, a huge part of me was devastated.
Of all the werewolves, and apparently now Lycans, I had to mate with my sister’s boyfriend. I couldn’t even get my own original mate.
I did the best I could with it. At least he’s an Alpha, so I try to focus on that, so I’m not focused on the fact that he was in love with my sister for four years.
I also try to include Ava in everything I can, try to make it seem like I am perfectly fine being mated to her ex-boyfriend, that it doesn’t matter at all.
But I see how he looks at her.
I know that he will never feel for me the way that he felt for Ava.
Another wave of hurt crashes over me as I reach the hospital entrance.
I give Richie a small smile, who looks at me in surprise, and we make our way back to the packhouse in silence.
I try to be discreet as I wipe the tears off my cheeks and Richie is kind enough to pretend like he doesn’t notice.
I mumble a quick thanks to Richie and make my way to my room, locking the door behind me and taking in my untidy room.
I pick up a high heel off the floor in front of me.
What’s so wrong with liking clothes? What’s the big deal if I would rather look good than be a good fighter?
Why is that bad?
I didn’t choose to be a werewolf.
I don’t like violence.
I sit the shoe on a nearby dresser and sit on my bed.
Ava started dating Caleb at a young age, and that is when we really started to grow apart.
Sure, I’d come along sometimes to hang out. That’s how I got to know Ralph so well.
When Caleb and Ava would sneak off to make out, Ralph would sit and talk to me.
He actually listened. Actually seemed to care.
He was always so friendly and goofy, making me laugh, turning my day around.
Eventually, when we got a couple years older, we would hook up randomly.
But we did stop when I mated to Caleb. We didn’t even talk for weeks.
At first, Caleb seemed like he was everything a mate should be, attentive, physical, considerate…but then it changed.
He withdrew. He was around less. He was less affectionate.
So, I ran to Ralph and he listened. He lets me cry on his shoulder.
He’s a great guy.
The more Caleb withdrew, the more I went to Ralph, and the more my feelings for him grew.
I tried to get Ava to date him, to help prevent my feelings for Ralph to grow, but she was disinterested.
She doesn’t know him like I do.
The tears spill over again and I let them fall.
Ralph and I crossed the line eventually, and now we can’t stop.
It isn’t as if Caleb wants to be with me though.
I just know he’s going to reject me. I feel it coming. He never even gave us a real chance either.
I reach over for my phone off the nightstand and think about texting Ava.
I don’t want to be alone, maybe she feels the same way.
Then I remember she’s not really supposed to leave her room and I sigh, putting the phone back down.
Maybe I should go back to her room?
I grab a pillow and lay down.
Her mate will come back to her tonight. Her mate didn’t put her in a completely different bedroom because he doesn’t want her around.
No. I’ll stay here. Alone.
I really hope Ralph gets released from the hospital soon.