(Willa)
I put Emmett to bed in the room he chose. The bed felt like a cloud, and I almost fell asleep next to him. He seemed to be alright, but not one hundred percent, and it worried me. A cold didn’t seem like the right explanation; it felt like a blanket statement. Caspien trusted the head doctor, but even he seemed worried.
“Mama?” His voice was thick with sleep.
“Yes?” I kissed his forehead, still warm, brushing some thick brown locks from his face.
“Can we stay here?’ He asked, “Forever?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I liked that he already felt so comfortable, but I still had apprehension about the situation.
If I chose this, it was permanent, final; no going back.
I knew now that I wanted that, but I had to make sure that he was good for Emmett and that Emmett wanted this for longer than a night. I knew too well how children's fixations could be flighty.
“Let's take it one day at a time,” I tucked him in and kissed his forehead.
“And paint my room blue,” he murmured, halfway to sleep.
“That too,” I ruffled his hair. I knew I wore a sad smile, but he didn’t see it.
I wanted this that I knew. It was more evident every day, and I knew that Caspien would take me in whatever capacity. Even if I decided to continue my education and work at the diner, he would accept me as I was and stand beside me as I worked through who I would become.
I thought about all the implications that today would have as I walked back down to the first floor. The smell of garlic and butter and spices wafted through the air. Caspien had his back turned to me, standing over a pan. It might have been the sexiest thing that I had ever seen.
“You continue to surprise me." I shook my head.
“I hope only good things.” He looked over his shoulder with a smirk.
“Yes, actually,” I admitted, “Thank you again for today. I owe you.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything ever. We're partners; I hope we are, at least.”
Partners, I liked that.
“Can I do anything to help?” I asked, feeling slightly guilty watching him work.
He grabbed two large wine glasses and filled them both with red wine from a decanter. I barely had two matching cups, but no matter how parallel our lives were, he never made me feel like I didn't belong here.
He set a glass in front of me. “You can sit there and relax.” He brushed his lips against my forehead, and I closed my eyes, leaning into the brief touch.
“I can help.”
“I know you can, but I want to do something for you. You’ve had a long day and suffered through enough Pokemon.” The corner of his lips pulled up slightly. “Now relax.”
“Okay.” I found it easier said than done. The past few weeks have constantly been going. It felt foreign now to just sit and do nothing; I felt like I had to do something.
Caspien laid out placemats and silverware before setting a plate in front of me. Steak, mashed potatoes, and asparagus were neatly laid out on them.
“Wow.” I inhaled deeply. “This looks amazing.”
“Hopefully, it tastes good too.” He took the seat next to me. “I thought you could use some comfort food, and this is mine. I should maybe have asked what yours was.” He frowned.
“This is absolutely perfect.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it; he visibly relaxed at my touch. “Lasagna, by the way, but only when my mom makes it. If I had to make myself comfort food, I would go with mashed potatoes and fried chicken.”
“At least I got part of it right.” He smiled.
“You got all of it right.” I took a bite; the steak was buttery and delicious. “Wow.” There was nothing this man couldn’t do.
We ate in comfortable silence; he told me about his day with Emmett and asked about my upcoming schedule.
“I’m actually off tomorrow. Cali insisted I took a day after our exams. I said no, but she made sure I wasn’t scheduled.”
“She’s right. You need a break.” Caspien looked at me with sincerity.
“I know.”
“You don't, though." He paused until I made eye contact with him. "You think you can keep going, but you need time for yourself too. I know too well how easy it is to slip into constant work and how hard it is to get out of that.”
I couldn’t stop, though. Even though he gave me the loan, I wanted to pay him back as soon as possible.
“I know I’m not getting to you,” Caspien noted. It surprised me how well he already knew me, but I guess I knew him too. I knew what he was feeling by his smile and small gestures.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t stop right now. Maybe when the next semester starts.” I shrugged.
“There’s always going to be an excuse.” He sounded serious. “Promise me you’ll cut down at the restaurant, just one shift less a week at least.”
I took a deep breath. “That sounds doable.”
“Think about it.” He stood up, taking my empty plate. “Don’t say you’ll help either.” He cut me off before I could open my mouth to protest. “This is part of you relaxing.” He smiled at me before putting the plates in the sink and topping up my wine.
“Join me by the fire?” He raised an eyebrow, reaching a hand out to me.
“I don’t think I would ever say no to that.”
“I’ll remember that.” He led me back to the couch and had me sit in a chair while he folded up the sheet on the couch Emmett was sleeping on.
He threw a match into the fire, and it lit instantly. He took my wine glass and set it on the table before pulling me onto his couch. I settled back into him, breathing in his sweet woody scent. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair, doing the same.
It was so nice just to be with him; I felt like the version of myself that I always wanted to be. I was a shell of myself with Nolan, and I gave up all of myself to become the perfect Luna and partner for him. With Caspien, I felt like I was the person that I always wanted to be, who I truly was.
I didn’t give up anything to be with him, but I gained so much.
“Can I talk to you?” I murmured into his warm chest.
“Always.”
I pulled back from his embrace to look into his churning blue eyes.
“I want you; I want to be with you. I want to accept you as my mate.”
His eyes widened before his hand came to my neck, pulling me towards him. His lips met mine, and an explosion of sparks crashed through me, warming me. I had more to say but didn’t want to break the intense kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, and my stomach curled as his other hand wrapped around me.
I pulled back breathlessly, needing air.
“But-”
He kissed my nose.
“Wait for a second.” I laughed. “But I need some time.”
“As much as you need,” he promised, biting the bottom of my lip. My stomach clenched, and warmth curled deep inside me.
“I want to make sure, with Emmett. I know you guys got along today, but if it were just me, I would have you mark me right now.”