The voice came out of nowhere and it surprised me. My body jumped and I moved aside from the door while my eyes flashed all over the room, searching for the voice. It was still new to me, hearing him in my head when I wasn’t sleeping. This had just recently started to happen.
‘Where are you?’ I asked him. ‘How do you know I’m crying?’ I raised my hand and wiped away my cheeks while waiting for his response.
‘Because you’re sad and well, I know that when girls are sad, they usually end up crying.’ He responded to me in a less than a minute which meant that he heard everything I was thinking. ‘Why are you sad? Did someone hurt you? If someone did, you can tell me and I promise I’ll take care of it.’ He sounded friendly for a moment until I realized his words were a threat.
‘No, nothing.’ I replied quietly before switching off the lights to my room.
It became dark and cold until I drew the curtains open and let the golden street lights swarm into my bedroom. Grabbing my bag, I threw it over my bed and laid down while figuring out whether I wanted to do my school homework and prep for the rest or go to sleep till tomorrow morning.
‘Tell me, it’s not like I will tell anyone.’ The voice returned into my head after a few minutes. ‘I can feel you’re quite sad and that’s saddens me more. I want you to be happy and if there is anything I can do to make you happy, you have to let me help you.’ He offered, his words as sweet as they could.
My cheeks warmed and when I glanced at the mirror, I found my face turning red. This wasn’t how I thought I was going to handle this but I didn’t care anymore.
I began liking to hear him and maybe to see him.
‘My Mom won’t let me go with my Dad to this place. He’s only here for a while and I really wanted to spend some time with him.’ I spilled everything that was in my heart.
It was silent for a minute and then another.
‘What are you, sixteen?’ He asked and instantly, my lips lined straight and I rolled my eyes.
‘No. I’m nineteen.’ I spat back, a bit angry now.
Why would he even think I was sixteen? I didn’t need someone to joke about my issues.
‘Then just go with your Dad. Who gives a fuck about your Mom? Don’t be a child.’ He spoke quickly and my jaw dropped at his words. ‘Start practicing not to be one because once I get my hands on you, everything will be different.’
I froze on the bed, barely moving an inch as his words registered in my head. What was he even talking about? He wasn’t real to begin with. Right?
My chest tightened and I blew a breath out before I asked him, ‘How old are you?’ It couldn’t be possible that a man in my head was real or even had a age to begin with. It was just my mind making things up, making me feel better—as my therapist had told me. I was simply hallucinating him.
‘Twenty eight.’
My head titled at his response. ‘Wh—what’s your name?’ I asked him after learning about his age. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around it while waiting for his reply. My eyes remained wide open as I had been struck with something entirely different and out of this world.
‘Maddox.’ He said. ‘What yours?’
My thoughts ran wild once more. His name, Maddox, I had never heard it before which meant my head couldn’t have made it up. What I had been thinking was all wrong. There was an actual person that I was talking to and he was listening to me. This person existed, not just in my head but in reality.
I took in a quick breath and replied to him, ‘Mi—Micah.’
I didn’t say my real name even though it was right on my tongue but something within me stopped me from telling this man my name.
‘Tell me where you live?’ He asked immediately after learning my name.
The hair over my skin rose and I began quivering out of cold and fear. I didn’t want to give him my location. He only wanted to know it so he could come after me and I didn’t trust him. After all, he was only in my head.
‘I—I don’t know. I don’t want to talk you right. I’m sorry. Goodbye.’
I pressed my hands against my ears and pressed my eyes shut, hoping I wouldn’t have to hear him for the rest of the night. I grabbed a book from my bag and began reading without thinking about him at all. The more I thought about him, the more he came into my head and it made it easier for him to talk to me. I couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted answers, for everything but at the same time I was too terrified to know if the man was actually real.
Maddox.
I spent the rest of the evening reading books, finishing up all my homework and even getting on a call with Josie at midnight, when I couldn’t sleep.
“What are you doing outside at this time?” I asked her while turning on the bed and pulling the blanket up to my chest. “Let me guess! You’re seeing Timothy, again.” I exclaimed while a grin fell over my face.
“Shh. Yes but just for an hour and then I’m going to go home and sneak in before anyone would catch me.” She replied, her voice full of excitement. She was outside, by her house, waiting for Timothy to pick her up and I suppose there were going to spend time at the park nearby, maybe even do the deed.
“I better not see you tomorrow morning in class without your clothes.” I gave her a warning.
She laughed, “You won’t.”
A silence split between us and I took in a deep breath before starting, “I wanted to tell you something. I didn’t get time before because school and classes.”
“What?” She waited for me to continue but I rethought about telling her.
What if she didn’t understood me? But I wanted to talk to someone. I needed to talk to someone before I went completely crazy. Going to the therapist wasn’t an option as my next appointment was at the end of the week and I couldn’t wait for that long.