Anger.
That is all I feel right now. The pain from his actions is long gone and now just a memory of what happened. He doesn’t deserve to be my first kiss, he doesn’t deserve to be my mate. Not with how he was flaunting himself around everyone.
Kia didn't say anything while my mind was in this mess, we agreed if he cheated or did something of the same vein he could be rejected.
I didn't think he would, especially after what he said on the evening of my birthday. Was none of it true?
I'm surprised she didn't stop me when I tried to reject him. She stayed silent letting me make the decisions on our mate.
I know she was hurt by his actions, probably even more so because Jace allowed him to do such a thing. But she hasn't said anything to me since arriving at the cottage, even on our run here she was silent lost in her own thoughts and emotions.
I honestly wasn't expecting him to come after me, but Kia chose to come here while running. To our surprise he arrived shortly after, of course. I was still a blubbering mess when he arrived and then he goes and says stupid things that make me do the one thing I feared he would do to me.
For him to think it was okay to just kiss me like that, I am beyond furious. I get up and storm towards the back door where I came in through.
"Sweetheart, please wait." I hear him beg behind me as he scrambles up off the floor.
I am too far gone. Kia bubbles to the surface and my anger swells around me.
I grab the door handle nearly breaking it off its hinges as I pulled it open, storming out to the back garden heading for the forest line.
Just as I go to shift again he grabs my hand and spins me back around to face him. He pulls me so powerfully that I slam into him hitting his hard chest.
"Just one minute, please," he softly whispers, dipping his head into my hair and holding me tightly.
I try to wriggle free, hitting his chest as hard as I could but he won’t let go. He didn't even flinch or move against my struggle.
"Zander, let me go now," I growl at him.
"No."
Struggling against him for a few more seconds I slowly give up and relax in his hold leaning my head against his chest. Being this close to him is affecting my emotions. Whether it is the bond helping me calm down or him just holding me, I am slowly beginning to lose the feeling of anger and melting into him, not wanting to let go.
"I'm sorry," he whispers again, still holding me tightly. We haven't moved in the last 5 minutes.
I am not going to be the first to talk. I close my eyes and breathe in his scent. I don’t want to remember the pain, I don’t want to ever experience it again.
"Do you understand the pain that caused me, you going against our bond?" I ask him.
I open my eyes and look up into his beautiful hazel eyes seeing a swirl of emotions … guilt, hurt, and a little bit of uncertainty.
"It felt like my entire body was on fire, Everything ached and burned I never want to feel that pain again, I can't ever go through that and that was only a kiss. So you need to decide right now if this is something you can commit to or if we need to part ways." I tell him sternly looking into his beautiful eyes.
I feel him tense up at the last part. I already tried to reject him, clearly he didn't want that so he needs to make a choice right now … his past life with flings and one-night stands or me, us, a future that could be.
"I never wanted to hurt you, I'm sorry I caused that. She just came onto me so quickly that I didn't have time to react. I didn't know it was going to happen. I will never let it happen again," he promises.
"Don't make promises you can't keep," I mumble as I look away, looking anywhere but at his confused eyes.
"Look at me," he grabs my chin, lifting my eyes up to look at him.
"You are the only one I want. When she kissed me, it felt like sandpaper. Everything hurt and I never want to experience that again either, especially when I hadn't even kissed you yet. You are all I want Ashleigh, you are my Luna and mate, no one will ever replace you."
I sigh and nod, closing my eyes and leaning back into him.
"Where do we go from here?" I mumble, feeling slightly embarrassed about my behaviour.
"Back inside? I can show you around properly if you like, maybe we can clean a few things up or chill out? I got the electricity working so the TV and stove should now work. I don't know about you, but I do not want to go back to school."
"Sure, that sounds nice," I smile.
He asks me hesitantly, If I let go, you promise you will stay?"
"Yes," I mumble.
He chuckles and slowly releases me from his tight embrace.