When I woke up, he was gone.
The emptiness filling me up when I looked out and it was dark outside, great…. He probably ran for the hills when I was asleep, that what I would have done if I was him when I was just sitting there in the dark, still not knowing what the fuck had happened. Yesterday, I was just getting my car, and now, I had been fucked by Jonah, that dealt with my breakdown like a fucking champ and just dealt with all my shit…... I was about to lean back into bed when I heard the door opening on the other side of the bedroom and I looked up tired and there he was.
My …fuckbuddy, fully dressed in different clothes and staring at me like he was glad I was awake, shaking a bag in his hand when I just looked confused at him, what was that.
“Get up, get into the shower and then we are going to eat.” He was had the same voice when he was fucking me, only softer and I smiled tenderly at him, sure, get up now, in the middle of the night that I was guessing it was when he just beamed back and left the door slightly open when he walked back into the kitchen part and was he whistling? I made a small giggle form that, so he was happy, good. I was happy too.
I got up from bed, dragging my sore body into the hot water, just standing there, shit, every part of me was hurting, back, ass, arms, legs, head, and pussy. I felt raw all over but at the same time, I felt great, like I never had felt in my life, even before I met Ryan, like I was completely at ease for the first time in my life.
I got out, still naked when I saw myself in the mirror.
Oh my god.
I had bruises over my neck and torso. teeth marks and hickeys, a lot of them. where the fuck was I when this happened?! I just stared at them, baffled, I was never going to be able to cover that up, no way, and I needed to go to work tomorrow. Well, If I wasn’t the gossip of my workplace, I would definitely be when I walked in looking like I had been in car accident/ make out session gone wild, like a freaking teenager!
“Andrea, I’m fucking starving over here, get your ass out now or I’m eating your food too!” I stopped staring from hearing his voice, fuck I really was hungry, and for some reason, I believed him, that he would he eat my share when I just put on some sweatshirt and pants, twirled my hair into a bun and walked out, if he didn’t like it, I didn’t care, I was looking like a trainwreck anyway and it was his fault.
He was sitting on the couch, wearing sweats too, only more expensive brand looking down on his phone, legs wide apart and really looking like the youngster he was, a youngster that could make me come like nobody else and cuddle me when I was crying, shit.
He looked up smiling when he saw my narrowed eyes before it disappeared when I pointed at my neck, this was a fucking disaster!
“What, I like to brand my girls, and since you are one of them now, I’m going to make sure that you have one of my marks all the time.” He just shrugged like that just the way it was going to be when I was shaking my head, no. no way, that was not going to happen.
“Hell no. I’m not one of your college girls, who wears this shit like some badge of honour, I’m a grown woman, having this I my age… Jonah… its fucking embarrassing….” I just sighed when he actually looked a bit hurt that I didn’t want to look like I had been making out with a vampire.
“Sure, fine. No more hickeys, any other request will we are at it? since I do have some ones too, but I didn’t want to bring them up right away, but since we already started let’s continue this.” He sounded cold again when I just crossed my arms and exhaled, sure, he had demands, of course he did, I should have expected that.
“I don’t know… I didn’t know that I needed a list to talk about you going easy on the hickeys on me, I’m not saying that I hate it. I’m just asking that maybe you can do them somewhere else, where I actually can cover them up If I want to? Like when I’m at work?” he lost the hardness in his eyes right away like he understood what I was saying and the small pressure in my chest disappeared right away, I already hated seeing him angry at me, it was hurting.
“Alright…. So, less hickeys where people can see them, unless you are free from work, then I want to do them on your neck…” he smirked when I nodded and blushed from his confident smile, the whole of him, shit he sure could give me some of that.
He was still looking at me, expecting me to say something more when I just shrugged, that’s what I got, I wasn’t some kind of expert like he seemed to be on this, fuck buddies’ kind of thing.
“No more? Wow, you are cute, you know what Andrea, let me know if that changes in the future and we talk again…” he smirked when I just smiled faintly at him, I will do that, when I knew more on what the hell this was between us.
“My turn, right? Okay, first. don’t fuck other guys. I mean it. if you like fall in love with some guy, just tell me, I don’t want some fucking drama that I don’t need over some jealous boyfriend, we just cut ties and that’s it.” He seemed annoyed when I nodded, that was not even something I was worried about, I liked him, and he knew that too when he opened his mouth again and my heart sank from his words and troubled face.
“I usually say, don’t fall in love with me, but I know that you already have some feelings for me Andrea, so I’m breaking that rule already because … well I don’t know, I really like you, and if you tell me that you can handle your emotions like you already told me, then I say fuck it and let’s do this.” He smiled at the end, but I didn’t, it felt like shit hearing him telling me that he didn’t want to have my feelings, only my body, but sure, I got it, he wasn’t trying to fool me at least, you had to respect that.
“Last… and this might be awkward since we already fucked an all that, but I would really like if you got some prescriptions for birth control, I can’t tell you enough how fucking bad it would be for the both of us if you got pregnant.” He looked up again into my eyes making me scoff from the way he looked at me suspiciously, did he think I was so fucking stupid to try to get pregnant with him? I mean come on, I was over thirty, I knew that babies were expensive and needed more than some weird platonic relationship between the parents, him and me where not going to have a kid, period.
“I been on the pill since I was thirteen Jonah, I think you are good, and I don’t want to have a baby with a twenty-year-old guy that doesn’t have feelings for me. trust me when I say, I’m not going to try to trick you if that’s what you are afraid of.” I was tired from standing up when he got up to and walked over the short distance and stroked my arms with an apologetic smile, he believed me and that was good, I guess…
“I’m sorry… fuck really, I am Andrea, I know that you wouldn’t do that to me, I trust you so you know, just as much as you trust me.” he wrapped his arms around me and I just enjoyed being inside there again, in his arms, ignoring the small pain that he didn’t share the same feelings that I had for him when he let go and smiled at me, taking my hand and leading me to the couch and dragged me down in his lap and gave me the hamburger and I smiled when I looked at the wrapper, my favourite, he seemed to remember.
We ate just watching some Netflix show that I just smiled at when he laughed, but it was nice, being here and just relaxing, especially after what had happened today when where fucking, that still was something I needed to figure out.
I must have fallen asleep in his arms again because when I woke up from the sound of my alarm, he was gone, this time for real and I rolled over where he had been sleeping, sniffing the sheets for his scent, know exactly how dumb and pathetic I was doing that, he didn’t want me like that, and it was hight time I started to understand that, not just telling him I did.
I got up, I didn’t shower, I was still sore everywhere and I cursed several times moving around when I finally found a sweater that had a turtleneck. Luckily it was soft and light so I could wear it at work, otherwise I would have called in sick and then, James would definitely fire me.
My scalp was still burning in some parts where Kayla hade pulled my hair, and I just made a braid looking at my face in the mirror. I looked different after last night. I felt different too, and the funniest thing was, I didn’t even know how, I was just that, different.
I was making my lunch when I looked at the clock and cursed again, fucking Kayla, I hope she choked on the blood from her face when I still didn’t have my car, making me take the bus, not that I hated it, it was just time-consuming and I really didn’t want to have to run with my body’s soreness, feeling like I had been doing a hardcore body workout and run a fucking marathon after that.
I was just locking the door when I saw the elevator open up and I almost dropped my purse and keys I was having in my hands when I saw him, Austin.
Holy shit! was he here to kill me after I attacked Kayla?! Was he really that into her? I just gulped real hard watching him walk out, noticing me and looked away like I didn’t matter, at all.
I didn’t know if I was happy or offended by his superior look when he just walked past me and didn’t say a word and neither did I. he was a long away from the charming man I had met some weeks ago.
Now he looked dangerous and on a mission when I just stood frozen watching him knock hard on the door to Jonah´s apartment and I stared in shock when Jonah opened up and just let him in not saying a word. His hard eyes lingering on me for a couple of seconds before just giving me a scowl like I was supposed to leave and I blinked like I had woken up and started to move, knowing he was watching me when I steered to the staircase and turned around, seeing Jonah was still staring at me, making sure I left when I gave him the faintest smile and he just nodded back at me like he saw me, but now, he wanted me gone.
I walked inside the stairs and closed the door behind me.