I was brushing my wet hair from showering, putting on the slightest makeup, covering up the bruising around my neck and sighing, he really liked to make hickeys on me when the door was opened and I stared at him standing there again looking at me, I didn’t want to look scared, but a part of me was, the way his face had looked like when he pinned me down was the scariest fucking thing I had ever seen in my life and then some.
“You done?” he sounded more like himself, the part that wasn’t going to murder me when I just nodded, sure I was done, I limped back towards my clothes on the shelf when he just shook his head and I stopped. What did I do wrong now?
“Not sweatpants, not today, we are going out and I don’t want to see you in fucking sweatpants all the time Andrea, that ass of yours deserves more then just some boring old thing covering it up.” He smirked at me now and I started to relax from his soft voice, so he wasn’t mad anymore… thank God… I smiled back when he held out his arms and I walked into them, feeling the hard arms around me, keeping me safe and I closed my eyes, snuggling in closer, God I hated this, us being mad at each other, I really did.
“I’m sorry, I really am… fuck… I’m so sorry baby… you know I would never hurt you… I just fucking panicked, I did and I’m sorry…” he was whispering into my ear when I nodded, I got it, he got scared, hell I was too, maybe not like he was, but still I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me, never.
“Let me see your wrists….” He made me hold my arms up and just looked sad like he really hated the small bruising that was forming around them, making me watch him just caress them slowly around with his fingertips, he really was sorry, wasn’t he?
He just smiled at me when he saw me observing him and kissed my wrist, slow and carefully, making small shivers run down my back from the gentle touch of his lips on my sensitive skin.
“You know what? Let’s just do whatever we want, lets go somewhere, eat something better than the burgers from around the corner and do something other than sit on our ass and watch Netflix.” He smiled more brightly when I held my breath, was he asking me out on a date?! Was that just what was happening here?!
“Yeah, why not, I like that Jonah…” I smiled more when he nodded making me laugh a little, for someone who didn’t call me his girlfriend, he sure as hell did the same stuff as someone who would call me that.
“Great, just stay here, and I go grab something from your closet.” I didn’t have time to protest when he came back with an older dress, the same one that I wore on Ryan grandmother’s funeral.
I looked at it, it was black and had a knee-high skirt, making it formal and short sleeves that was supposed to be hidden away by a jacket that he didn’t bring, I would look like a formal lady next to his casual look of shirt, west and jeans.
“Well, as long as you are not taking me out to eat burgers in this dress…” I made a teasing smile when he just grinned back and I opened the zipper and with a little help from Jonah, spanking my ass on the way I was getting the zipper up and he took a step back, looking at me with admiration, that felt better than I had ever done in my life. Just Jonah staring at me like I was the most beautiful thing I the world.
“Look at you… I just want to bend you over and give you my dick all over again…” he sounded husky when I made a small gasp from how hot that sounded, one day I wanted that, definitely.
I blushed when he grinned taking my hand in his and we walked out, carefully with me leaning on him for support when he kneeled down and put my boots on, one at the time. I just watched him when he kissed my knee and looked up at me like he was choosing between eating out or eating me.
“so, lets go baby…” he did looked like he had something planned when I giggled, feeling his arms around me, hoisting me up in his arms, carrying me bridal style out thru the door making my heart go so fast, he did it, he carried me like I was nothing, laughing when he walked up to the elevator and I got to push the button making me even happier, even if it was stupid.
He carried me all the way to his stupid car, and I stared at him when he put the seatbelt around my body, kissing me lightly on the lips when he did, was he for real or what? Giving me a cute smile when he got around and sat down in the driver seat, just waiting for me with his excited blue green eyes.
“So, where to? What do you want to do Andrea?” I blinked a few times, he asked me what I wanted to do? He never asked that, and neither did Ryan come to think of it…. I just smiled more secretly, I wanted to go see a movie, and then I wanted to see the ocean in the moonlight, no matter how stupid and corny it sounded.
“That sounds like something I wouldn’t hate….” He smirked more when I told him that and he started the engine on the powerful car, and I just looked at him happy when he drove out from the parking lot smoothly and surprisingly quiet from what I had expected.
He drove over to a movie theater, I had never been there, but then again, Ryan didn’t take me on dates, because believe me, the moment we had moved in together, he just stopped, with everything and I didn’t even see it, didn’t even feel that something was wrong, I was so stupid that way.
“Hey…. Same rules here Andrea, you stay here with me or I’m going right back home and not doing any of this.” He didn’t sound as hard like he did when we had sex, but I could still feel that he had a threatening voice lurking below all that charm he had right now.
“I just… you know that I have been married a long time Jonah… its just nice… being here with you… it makes me happy…” I blushed more when his eyes lighted up, and he was smiling at me, he liked being here to and nothing could make me think otherwise.
“Good… I’m glad you are happy Andrea…” my breath got hitched when he looked at me, the longing in his eyes and the way he was saying my name, like he wanted to tell me something else… fuck he wanted to tell me that he did feel something for me, didn’t he?!
He just stared at me, biting his lip again looking unsure when people were moving outside the car on the street, unaware that I was just praying that the handsome young guy next to me would finally say something about his emotions, it didn’t even have to be I love you, just more then that he cared for me, that was all I asked.
He noticed me just watching him and suddenly got that charming smile back, the one that he seemed to be using as a shield from whatever he was really feeling, and I made a small sight, that was it then, he was not opening up this time either too me, I should have known better.
“What do you want to watch? The only thing I’m not fucking sitting thru is that one.” He pointed to a poster that had a woman and man kissing, its was a romantic drama and I just smirked the slightest, maybe I should pick that one, just too be a bitch.
“Why, I read that it’s great, I really want to see that one Jonah….” I made a small face of pouting my lips when he just looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was pulling that shit on him when I tried not to burst out laughing from the way his face was making small twitches of defeat, knowing he was going to suffer for 120 minutes or more.
“Fine. But its going to suck, and its not real you know, those kinds of movies, people don’t just fall in love with each other, defeat the odd and live happily ever after, all bullshit.” He was about to get out of the car when the laughter I had been trying to hide, was dying in my chest, leaving me cold and sad. He was talking about us, wasn’t he? That me being in love with him didn’t change a thing, we were not going to defeat the odds of being different, having an age gap and him being an asshole with me just not being able to fight him.
I felt the door opening on my side and I just looked ahead instead of looking at him when he helped me up, he didn’t lift me this time, too many people around I guess when my boots where on the warm pavement, I frowned, maybe it was time for something new, I did tell myself that I would do that, buy something new for me when we started to walk inside the theater.
He paid and I didn’t object, he didn’t want to call this a date and neither did I all the sudden when we sat down on one of the benches in the lobby and I just stared at my hands, whatever mood I was feeling when we got here, it was all gone by now, destroyed by his careless words to a movie that I didn’t want to see either truth be told, but he didn’t know that, because he didn’t know me.
“I don’t want to watch a movie…” I looked up at him when he was having his phone out and just raised his eyebrows like he couldn’t believe I just said that too him, I looked away, maybe it would have been better with sweatpants, burger and Netflix, at least inside, I could pretend that he wanted me, more then just to fuck and no more.
“Andrea are you fucking kidding me?! I told you that you get to choose. you said movie and I even let you pick some goddam chick flick that I’m going to hate every fucking second of, and now, you tell me you don’t even want to watch it?!” I flinched at every accusing word he was spitting, he was angry that I had waisted his time and I didn’t look back, so what. He was right, none of this shit was real anyway, we could do all this romantic stuff and he still was going to leave me in the end of the night to go out and do whatever he wanted, knowing that I was trapped inside, just waiting for him to come back.
“Yeah, well I changed my mind, just take me back home and go do whatever the hell you are already planning on your phone.” I snapped back when I could already feel the tension in his body, the oncoming mood that shifted making me just stare even more into the floor, I wasn’t going to pretend to be nice if he wasn’t going to either.
He got up and yanked me with him and I didn’t object when he rushed us outside, making me have a hard time keeping up when he just opens the door to the car and I got inside, not wanting his help, just watching him go around the car fast and determined making my confident I was feeling from the anger starting to sway, he did look pissed as hell didn’t he?
The silence when he got into the car was deafening, none of us speaking when he suddenly turned his head too me and I tried not to look so goddamn scared that I was feeling when his eyes where dark and ha no mercy over the hard-set face that I adored.
“I’m going to punish you Andrea, it’s about time you learn the fucking consequences of wasting my time.” I made a small whine, not being able to keep it from slipping from my mouth, he didn’t even smile or anything, so he was serious then?! Oh fuck!