“I’m so happy you are coming along, it’s going to be great, you will see, Sky is a great girl!” I just sneered over the phone hearing my mothers voice, a great girl that fucked my husband, that bitch. I didn’t say anything, let my parents believe that I wanted to stay friends with Ryan, I didn’t, and I bet he was a having a smaller stroke, hearing that I was coming along, his bitter ex-wife at your wedding, yeah, that was a dream come true.
“I guess you are going alone?” I made a face when she said that she was counting on me never finding another man like the useless waste of space that I was in their world.
“Yes mom. Its just going to be me, alone.” I pushed the last word out, gritted teeth and just cursed in my head that she was so predictable, always finding new ways to make me feel bad about myself.
“I’m just asking, no need to bite my head off!” she caught my aggression, and I made a deep sighed leaning over James’s kitchen table, how the fuck was I even related to that woman?!
I saw him walk inside and just raised his eyebrows like he was amused over me looking like I was a small child, still being scolded by my mother.
“I’m sorry mom, I’m just tired….” I rubbed my temple with one hand, I really was, it was draining being away from Jonah no matter how stupid it sounded to other people, and even if James was giving me some breaks these days, he still was a hard boss to have, and I worked just as hard to make him not kick me out from his house.
“Andrea… listen to me, I know that you are still mad about Ryan cheating, and believe me, I’m not being cheerful about that either, but where you really happy the last years?” I just exhaled from her serious question, did she even care? I was biting my lips and turning around, seeing James just standing there with coffee in his hands, looking like he heard everything. Great.
“No… I guess not, otherwise he wouldn’t have cheated on me, right mom!?” I just hanged up not being able to take it anymore, she was jus as stupid like she always was, why did I even talk to her?!
“Wow you got some nerve, talking to your mother like that….” He laughed when I just roll my eyes and he sat down by the table and smiled more at me, at least I didn’t call her a bitch, that would have been awkward later on.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that… its just that… well me and my mom, we aren’t the best friends, never have been. She always was to busy with herself and we just….” I stopped when he looked sad and I started to feel even worse, I bet he had a great relationship with his mother, he seemed like that, someone who would do anything for his mom.
“I know it’s none of my business, but you shouldn’t be that hard on her, she probably doesn’t understand that she is like that, she loves you, all mothers do.” He gave me a sweet smile in the end before drinking coffee when I just gave him a sad one back, mine didn’t.
“Sure…. What about your mother James, where is she?” I tried to look happier when he seemed sad again and I felt like an idiot just staring at him shifting and looking like he wanted to cry, my hardass boss was sitting here, about to cry.
“She passed away, just a year after my dad so…. It’s been hard…” I gulped when he blinked, oh shit he was really about to cry! I started to panic, why the fuck did I have to bring up his mother, like the stupid bitch I was, fuck!
“Oh shit! I’m so sorry James, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry!” I was just babbling when he wiped away his tears as fast as they got in his eyes, making a trying smile and I felt even worse, God I sucked at being a friend, I really did.
“No… its fine... really… shit… Andrea… I’m sorry, I just don’t talk about her or my dad that often, I still miss them….” He looked away out the window and I just grabbed his hand, doing something, squeezing it hard like I wanted him to know that I was sorry, I really was!
“Hey… I’m really sorry, I am James…” he finally turned around his head again just nodded like he heard me, and I just looked at his face that was still upset, I wouldn’t cry that much if my mother died, he must have really loved her.
“Yeah…thanks… it’s not like I can do anything about it, right, life never stops Andrea, just because you do.” He looked me in the eyes when I got a hard lump in my throat, what the fuck did that mean? I just stared at him when he patted my hand and pulled away, making me feel even worse, he didn’t even want my comfort, I sucked.
“Yeah well… let’s just head out shall we, its almost 6.45 anyway…” he smiled at me and walked out the kitchen leaving me sitting there, not even knowing what had happened? James cried before me, holy shit, I was never speaking again, since I couldn’t seem to not make grown ass men cry.
I grabbed my empty plate and put it in the dishwasher, if I was in my own home, I would have just put it in the sink, but I didn’t dare do that here, James was neat as hell, and I didn’t want to ruin his perfection.
I got out to my car, James had already left, he didn’t fight me when I said that we shouldn’t carpool, I didn’t want people to know that I was staying at his place, even if everyone already gossiped about it probably, he was just my boss… and friend…. I sighed and got in, the heat was already creeping up on me when I rolled the windows down and made a frown over the awful smell that was coming from someone’s house, was that garbage or what?” I sniffed some more before giving up and rolling out, as long as it wasn’t me that smelled, I guess that it wouldn’t matter.
I was snapping with Tom, that I was leaving next week for my ex-husbands wedding and that he could tell Jonah that I was gone.
he was my partner in crime when I was in my shoebox of an office that had too much candy wrappers for it to be legal when I sighed, Jonah was still having the time of his fucking life, and the worst part about everything was that I was just dying every time I saw him, my heart hurting and still I just came back for more when I put the phone down fast, seeing James standing there, looking at me like he didn’t appreciate me just wasting my work hours on my phone, shit he really was still an hardass.
“Andrea…. You should really clean up in here…” he just looked around the desk and I shuffled the bag of Cheetos I been eating ten minutes ago in the trashcan, and he just sighed like I was a mess, oh I was.
“God… I’m sorry James… I will clean up, I promise!” I was already up at my feet and shuffling down everything making me realize just how much of a pig I was, making my cheeks burn when I looked up and he was smirking at me now making me stop, oh thank god he wasn’t pissed anymore, I was to fucking nervous about him throwing me out for messing up his house as it was.
I was so fucking lazy these days, not like when I was married with Ryan, when I cleaned day and night more or less.
“Just don’t have the whole place looking like a dump, alright, you are still the face out to the public, and we need to show that we are professional, and service minded, right?” he smirked more when I just nodded, yeah sure, all that, professional and service minded, that was me, the whole alphabet of just that.
“I will do better, I promise… “he just smiled more when he gave some papers that I was going to do as soon as I cleaned up in here, shit I really was a mess these days.
“It’s the form, for your leave, and I’m being nice here Andrea and you know it since I know you are leaving next week, and I needed that on my desk a week ago.” He looked sterner when I nodded again, yeah, I knew that too, he really was a great guy, the fucking best just letting me take two weeks’ vacation, unpaid but that didn’t matter, I was used to being broke.
“I do it right away, I swear on it James, you don’t have to wait one more second for it!” I was finally having some space on my desk and feeling my cheeks burned more when he just stared at me like he had seen just how much I was feeling awful, for everything and wanted to make me happier, more the version he was at home and not here.
“Don’t worry about it, just do it today and I send it in, it’s still me that’s going to have to find someone to fill your spot until you come back.” He smiled more when I just sank down on the chair again, looking guilty, I wasn’t sure I was worth the trouble I was giving him, but I was grateful that he helped me, I really was.
“You know what? I’m doing something for you today, just to say thanks, I can cook something, what would you like?” I smiled more when he seemed caught off guard from my words, like me cooking for him was something new, I had been taking turns the last two weeks at his house.
“You do that for me?” he still seemed baffled when I just made a small smile at his amazed face, okay it wasn’t that big of a deal, it was just me being nice back, that was it.
“Yeah, you have done so much for me, it’s the least I can do, so, what do you like, I can do anything, the only thing I won’t do is pasta.” He chuckled when I leaned back into chair and smirked back, he looked happy again, thank God.
“Well… I don’t know… I’m not that great at you know… cooking but…. There is one thing you could do for me, if you have the skills of course…” he looked more secretive when I feel myself leaning forward, hanging onto every word that he was saying without realizing it.
“Meatloaf.” I leaned back again when he smirked at my shocked face, he did all that fucking suspension for meatloaf. I just started to laugh, yeah, I could do that, eyes closed if I needed.
“Meatloaf?” I just laughed more when he smiled and nodded before making me feel bad again for laughing at him.
“Yes, I know it’s not that advanced, but when we talked about our moms, I just remembered that she used to do that, every Sunday, even if we liked it or not. Me and my dad I mean…” he looked sad again and I nodded, oh I would give him meatloaf, I would, the best he ever had for being a bad friend again.
“You got it James, meatloaf it is.” He just smiled happy again when he nodded and walked out, leaving me alone with a desk that was still not clean and papers that I needed to do a week ago, I was so not going to be the employee of the month.