I was sitting in my car. Feeling like shit when I had seen the blue sportscar. so, he was home, and he just didn’t want to see me, like the asshole he was…. Fucking bastard making me fall for him and then just pull the rug underneath my feet, like I never mattered when I know I did.
I took out my phone and made a deep sigh. I couldn't believe I was doing this, I really didn’t, but I was desperate.
too desperate to say no when I pushed James number on my phone and called him, I had seen him earlier today and he seemed happy, he really did when the call connected and I cleared my throat, not wanting him hearing me crying over the neighbor that never loved me.
“Andrea, hey what’s up? “He sounded cherry as hell making me feel sick, he was probably doing something better then just crying in his car, maybe I just should let him be, he deserved better than having me and my problems more then when he was on the clock.
“Hey James, am I bothering you? I can call later…” I was already about to push the slide on my phone when his voice made me stop like he wanted nothing more then to talk to me right now.
“No, its fine, I’m just making dinner, you know, I’m famous for that in some parts of the world.” I smirked from nowhere, I’m sure he was, I seen him heat his containers and they always was made up of three things, and two of them, was pasta and pasta.
“Alright… sorry for bothering you anyway….” I stopped. This was going to be so fucking awkward and cringy that I wanted to crawl out of my skin and die, when I heard my own voice continue.
“Listen… you told me you had a spare room, right?” my chest was aching, and I felt sick, fuck I had told him off when he offered it and now, I was begging him like a goddam bitch, I hated that. I really did.
When he didn’t answer I got even more nervous and was really about to hang up when he cleared his throat to like he wasn’t expecting me to ask him that, not in a million years.
“Yes, that’s right…are your apartment still going through renovations?” he sounded so calm now, like he had his shit together, and I bet he did, he was a guy that had his shit together and I didn’t.
“No… you know what… they found mold so I just left, I’m going to let go off my lease tomorrow and just find a new place, but I thought since you asked me, maybe I could stay at your place, just until I find something else?” I was holding my breath, I really was, he could just say no, tell me to fuck off, in his own nicer way when I didn’t deserve any better, I didn’t.
“What, that’s horrible, I hope you are getting your rent back at least since you can’t stay there anymore!” he sounded upset when I just huffed, I didn’t think the landlord was going to give me any money about fucking Jonah and being send off from him not loving me.
“Yeah, I’m going to look into it… listen… I know I said that it would be weird and so... but I can pay rent, so it would be just like renting out the room, right?” I was trying so hard not to sound as desperate as I was, fucking homeless, sitting in my car.
He didn’t say anything first, like he was thinking about it, and I just made a small moan, this was a mistake, he wasn’t going to let me live with him, no way.
“You know what, lets do this, sure you can pay rent if that makes you feel better, how about 500 even?” I made a slight gasp, oh shit he was really serious about charging me, I know that I told him I would pay, but I barley got by as it was, and he knew that.
“How about 300 and I help you cook something more then pasta?” I knew that I was pushing it, he was being nice and here I was asking for more, like the bitch I was.
He made a chuckle on the other side making me relax, so he could agree to that, at least I hoped he did and wasn’t just laughing at me bargaining with him.
“Sure, but I am telling you Andrea, my cooking is known.” I laughed this time, oh thank God, thank you for James, giving me a fucking roof over my head, he was a great boss.
“Yeah, we all know about it, Italian sure is your specialty…” I rolled my eyes when he laughed again, oh geez I was just as corny as him weren’t I?
“Told you I was famous.” He laughed even more, and I just listen, he did sound happy, his laughter being filled with something I couldn’t feel.
“You did… I’m sorry for just saying this, but I just left my apartment, I just have four boxes and I need a place to sleep tonight, we can make a lease tomorrow if you like that…but…” I was fishing when he just made an understanding sound, that I wanted to get over, right now.
“Well, you can have pasta if you like, and don’t worry about that, you weren’t staying long right, so its more of a friend crashing on my couch then having a tenant.” I exhaled, yeah, he was right, this wasn’t me moving in with him, I was just crashing his place, like a friend.
Oh shit, James was my friend.
“I will text you the address, and I'll see you soon, right?” he was already burning something when I snickered, yeah, I would see him soon.
I just sat there, looking up at the complex, feeling slightly better, I had a place to stay, even if it was awkward, James was great at making it not be that. He was a sales guy, you could tell.
I looked at the window where I knew Jonah’s place was, the two small windows that were too far up to look out from.
Fuck.
I still loved him.
Even after what he has said to me, even after he was treating me like shit and just made me do things that no girl was supposed to take. I still loved him.
Well, this was it then, the end of an era. A small, short, pitiful era that I was going to remember for the rest of my life. Jonah. making me love him more then I ever did my husband for eight years.
Life was sure funny that way.
I turned the key over in my old car and drove away, to live with my boss.
Chaper 39
Hey Andrea, I thought that maybe we could watch some horror today, you know, spice it up a little, what do you say?” I just frowned the slightest, James was looking happy when I made an embarrassing smile, it was Friday and living with James wasn’t as bad as I had believed it to be, he was nice, didn’t ask to many questions and just was there, it was good.
“James, oh I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you, I got a date tonight….” I was looking apologetic at his surprised face that was giving me a blank for a few short seconds like he didn’t know what to say about that before shaking his head, like it was fine, he was fine.
“Alright, that’s nice… well I guess it just going to be me and the screams of young girls tonight then…” he made a small snicker when I laughed back, I guess so.
“Yeah…I’m really sorry I should have told you, I just got so lost in… everything….” I smiled when he just smiled back, now he wanted to ask questions but didn’t, thank God for that.
“Its fine, Andrea. it’s not like we are a couple just because we eat food together and watch movies, then I would have been dating every girl in the store that’s been through the sexual harassment movies with cupcakes.” He smirked when I just beamed at him, he was so funny.
Really, he was. so much funnier than Jonah, why couldn’t I just love someone like James instead? That was my age and was funny, calm and didn’t leave me when he was done fucking me.
“Hey, I like those cupcakes, and I never get any because I’m the last one to come in, since I’m in the back.” I smiled even more when he just nodded, arms crossed and laughed too, I can’t believe I used to hate being around him, he was a great guy when he wasn’t in boss mode.
“I save you some next time, its Doris. like we all can’t see when she swipes them.” He made a funny face and I laughed again, leaning forward, I hope that I was having this much fun later with Austin, I really did.
“I’m holding you to that…” I got up when he stopped smiling, letting it fade out when I just walked into the bedroom, I was leasing from him, yapp still awkward as hell.
I was having on a dress that was too expensive for me to buy, so I just made sure to hide the tag and was going to return it tomorrow, I mean, I was just having dinner with a man, I could do this, right?
I looked at myself, my hair was in a page, since I spent my money actually going to the beauty salon and leeched of James making me feel worse for not paying for his food, I was going to do that, I swore on it.
My makeup was darker, I didn’t want to look like Kayla or when I was looking like a kindergarten teacher, I wanted to be the version of me that was going to blow his mind with how fucking sexy I was.
The dress was midnight blue and sleeveless, with deep cleavage that told that I was here to make sure that he didn’t drop his eyes from me one second, and the skirt stopping at my thighs. so, I looked sluttier than I used to, but fuck it felt great.
The shoes were the same, my black one I had one when Jonah helped me home… I was already weighing my feet when I got taller by the stilettos and just smiled at myself trying. I was going to have fun and find out where the hell Kayla was.
Yeah, this would be great.
I took my purse, clutching it hard when I walked out, maybe I should have brought a sweater, but I didn’t want one when I saw James looked at me when I just stood before him and I swear that he couldn’t even find his words, all blood rushing down to his dick and made a small, satisfied smile, so I did look like someone that guys wanted to fuck.
“James…. I’m sorry, just pretend you never saw me like this. I know that it’s totally not appropriate….” I wasn’t mad, I mean come on, he was a guy, that lived alone, I would be turned on too if a hot guy was standing half naked in my kitchen.
I blinked seeing Jonah in my head, half naked in my kitchen, bare-chested and hungry, fuck.
My chest felt tighter, and I didn’t want to feel like that, the cold unforgiving sadness that didn’t let me breathe, not right now.
“Nope, no I can’t unsee this, sorry, you have to live with the fact that I know your secret Andrea, that you are absolutely gorgeous…” he made a big smile making me blush, I did look good, didn’t I?
“Thank you, lets just hope my date think that too…” I smirked when he rolled his eyes like he would, I really hoped that, would make it a lot easier for me to get some answers and have a good time, I guess.
“If he doesn’t, I’m sure that counts as a crime in at least 48 states.” He smirked more when I laughed at him, oh he was such a sales guy!
“Thank you, James, … have a good evening, screaming girls and all that….” I winked at him when he got flustered and I giggled walking out from his house, yes, he owned a house, not some crappy apartment like I did, he was going to make some girl very happy someday, I just knew it.
I walked slow in my stilettos, I didn’t use them that much, but I felt off, like I couldn’t walk in them anymore when I finally arrived at the point where I told Austin to pick me up. I didn’t want him to have the address to James’s place, if he was dangerous like that bastard that didn’t love me said, then the less he was involved in this, the better.
A big black car came up alongside me and I looked surprised when the driver just walked around and opened the door for me, seeing an empty seat, no Austin.
“Mr. Evans will meet you at the restaurant miss.” I just looked at the serious driver, he looked dangerous too when I just nodded and got inside.
It was colder in here; it was nice I guess when the heat outside was just a pain in the neck at days at least, nighttime was easier when I just leaned back and watched the city come ahead from the small suburbia I was staying at with James, God it was like two different worlds, being with James and then going to a fancy restaurant in the city with Austin.
I waited until the driver let me out and helped me with his hand, he didn’t say a word when I started to walk up to the line and the hostess looked at me like I was crazy when she just walked up and steered me like the lost fool I was into the restaurant with a big smile that sure was going to hurt to have at the end of this evening.
He was sitting at the end of the floor, sealed off making me raise my eyebrows, he really was a hotshot, wasn’t he? It was amazing that someone like him even would set his foot inside of my apartment complex…. No… it wasn’t mine anymore, remember? we don’t live there anymore, snap out of it Andrea!
I looked up and smiled when I saw Austin turning around, he looked pleased to see me, his eyes fixed on my boobs for a few seconds and smiled like he was satisfied, oh thank God.
He got up when I got closer and I smiled even more, he looked so handsome, thick dark hair and brows, an angular jaw and hard eyes that was looking me right in the eyes when he took my hand and kissed it like a gentleman, I made a small giggle not being able to help it, he was so charming.
“Andrea, look at you, I bet even the goddess Aphrodite is jealous of you, the most beautiful woman in this town by far!” he made a deep chuckle when I blushed even more, him still standing there with my hand in his and I was just dazed, wait what was I going to do again, answer him? Oh right.
“That’s so sweet of you to say Austin, thank you…” I just made a smile back, still being the slightly shocked by the oncoming wave of compliments he said to me when he helped me down and pushed my chair in, like a real gentleman.
“Yes…. Well, I ordered some wine already, I hope you don’t mind?” he smiled at me, and I just shook my head, no I didn’t mind, I didn’t know shit about wine.
“I am sorry for not coming along and picking you up, something came along, and I had to handle it, I do hope you forgive me.” He smiled even more when I just nodded, oh shit what the hell was I doing, I wasn’t supposed to not being able to speak all the sudden, I was here for answers, and a good time.
“Its fine, I get it, you have business you need to care for…” I just smiled when he got a glint of something I didn’t catch before it was gone and he looked like the charming man again making me forget what I was worried for all this time, he was amazing, the whole fucking package.
I ordered steak when the hostess was back, I was confused that she spent all her time at our table, didn’t we have a waiter like everyone else had?
“Steak, I like that…. Usually, it’s just salad that the girls I date orders, but I do like a woman that isn’t afraid to actually eat and not look like a stick…” he looked down at me again and I felt myself blushing… I know I didn’t look like Kayla. I really didn’t, and my stomach wasn’t perfectly flat and toned leg and ass, but I liked me, I guess you could call me happily lazy.
“Yeah… I like to eat meat…” I smirked more when he got another gleam in his eyes and this time I got it, he was thinking about me sucking his dick, well the night was still young, anything could happen.
“I like you Andrea, I do….” He chuckled and drank some more vine and I followed making a small frown, it tasted awful, but I drank it anyway when he just stared at me, being completely satisfied that he had chosen to have dinner with me.
“Thank you….” I just drank more wine watching the food arrive and he smiled more when I started to eat not wanting to wait a second longer, it looked delicious and I made a big moan when the meat was in my mouth, so fucking good, better then pasta anyway.
“If you keep sounding like that, I’m going to forget we are having dinner…” he winked at me and I just stopped, oh shit, he was talking about fucking, us. Him and me.
“I’m sorry…. I will stop….” I felt like I had lost my appetite… did I want to fuck Austin? He was handsome and hot and all that…but… well he wasn’t Jonah…. Fuck….
“Oh no, Andrea please, I didn’t mean to scare you. I promise, if you don’t want to do anything, then I’m not going to force you, its not the way I treat women.” He sounded serious and sincere when I just stared into his eyes, they were darker, brown and he smiled more, how could a guy like him ever had done anything to Kayla? She must have just left him, like she always did, abandoned ship when she didn’t feel like it anymore.
“Oh, I’m sorry Austin… it’s just that… well I haven’t been out that long, you know I was married for a long time, you forget stuff like this, and everything is like starting over again…” I just looked guilty, biting my lip, maybe I should leave, before this got any further….
“No, don’t feel bad, I know what you are going through, my divorce was the same, married for twelve years.” He was holding his hand up showing his wedding ring and I just looked at him confused, he still wore it, even if he was divorced?
“Sorry to hear that… well we are here now anyway…” he just smirked and leaned back giving me a full view of him, he was looking so good, maybe I should fuck him, just to get Jonah out of my system, I guess it couldn’t hurt.
“I do like you Austin… and you are handsome as hell….” I smirked back making him chuckle again like he got what I was saying, maybe, just maybe I let him fuck me, I was still not sure about that part when I had eaten everything on the plate and looking even more guilty, I had no fucking manners, I just didn’t.
“Dessert?” I just nodded when he snapped his fingers and the hostess was there and I chose cake. He just smiled more, making me feel even worse. God I was a pig wasn’t I? just eating the whole goddam restaurant in front of him, help.
He was talking when I just nodded when the man that was driving me walked up and leaned down and I just followed them, Austin looking serious all the sudden when I was licking the fork with the last crumbs before I caught myself and just put it down, not wanting to continue making a fool of myself.
“Andrea, I’m sorry, I told you that I have to go to clubs sometimes even if I don’t like it, do you want to come along even if the music is awful with me or should I just let Gunnar take you home?” he was meaning the serious man that wasn’t looking to friendly when I took a deep breath, a club? Well… as long as I dint have to uber home, having someone else pay for me, I was happy, I guess.
“Sure…I love to come along, see what the kids are up to these days…” he smiled more like that’s the answer he wanted when he got up and pulled my chair before taking my hand, escorting me out from the restaurant and still holding my hand in the car when I smiled. That was nice.